It is October of 2011, I will leave Guatemala on the 11th and go to the USA, then to Las Vegas, Thailand, and onto India.
This is the path after I depart from Guatemala, or maybe this is my path, I am never sure, but I suppose a person need a path, even if they do not follow it.
Why I am leaving Guatemala?
I have been here three months, it is my home, but I do not live here, therefore it is time to leave. James Easter my friend here in Pana like it when I called him a, "Dead ender."
I meant to say, "End of the roader."
"James, you are a dead ender."
Or, I meant to say,
"James, you are an end of the roader here in Panajachel, Guatemala."
Jame is a traveler who is in remission, this is the end of the road for James, this is the dead end, this is probably his last stop. He is age 69 and I suspect he cannot find a good reason to move onto another place, this is the dead end.
Panajachel, or Lago Atitlan here in Guatemala is one of my Homes, I come here and go local fast, I am part of the background, I am a local Gringo here. Although in most ways I feel extremely different than most of the Gringos here, they for the most part are hermit, smoke dope, and into yogo and sitting under pyramids meditating, this is not me, and for sure I am not part of the missionaries or save-the-world-NGO's.
Why does one person justify staying in one location, while another person wanders on down the road to another place, that in reality is not a lot different than the last location? I am 100 percent sure staying in one location is the natural behavior of humans, being a nomad is abnormal behavior. I do believe that groups traveling normadically could be natural, however for one person to travel the world nomadically is abnormal behavior.
Truly, nomadic travel is too much freedom, it makes people go crazy, we naturally need routine, we need monotony, we want control over our day, which only happens by the cessation of change. The world changes daily, but we do not want this, we want the lack of stimulation to be a normal human.
Hmm, not truly correct, we want the same churning of noise to happen daily, similar noise, but not really different, there is a need to have the same repetition of the same chaos daily. However, to have actual change is not wanted, that is too much freedom, that requires decisions to be made.
I believe I have gained the abilty to stop making decisions, I have adapted, I do not have the compulsion to say, I like or do not like a place, I take a stand, but the decision is so fuzzy it is irrelevant. I like Panajachel, but I am not in love with this place, I am not going to defend it against all comers.
This is love in a way, when a person tend to always defend a location, and becomes angry when a person does not like it, then the must in a way love the location.
I am moving from Guatemala primarily for one reason, I want to go to anywhere where the people are more beautiful. The Guatemalan are some of the friendliest people on the planet, the are cute, but they are not a beautiful race. This mean after awhile I become tired of people watching the Guatemalan culture and for sure the Gringos here are the ugly bunch, older.
I am Free, I can be around ugly or beautiful people and not feel inadequate, I do not search for the ability to fit in.
Freedom should not be given to all people, without filters on their brains they all become insane.
I used to think and believe that man searches for beautiful worlds --- however, as my life continues, as I chronicle the real world, I have realized. People are searching for a safe place, where they will not see the comparison between themselves and others, where they feel empowered, and nobody accidentally makes them feel stupid or ugly.
There is a PC - Political Correctness to the world that is ignorant, they refuse to accept a person that says something they disagree with. When a person says the truth, the punish the person, this is the new intolerance.
If I say, I do not like Fat people, this must be acceptable, if a person say they do not like Hobos, if I have good self-esteem, I will be OK. On the other hand, many people have evil intentions and want to insult, this is never acceptable. They generally do not know what they do, they are rabble.
Truly the traveler must learn to be 100 tolerant when a person is 100 percent different, obnoxious, ugly, or beautiful and not compare themselves to this person in a intimate way. I can sit next to a jerk, and not need to change the jerk, I do not need to influence them to stop, I just leave.
It is beyond the powers of a normal man to enjoy total freedom, given freedom they will surely walk back into the box of social norms and constructs. Only by losing the need to hold to a judgement can we be free.
We have to be careful, as the inability to make judgements can leave us indecisive. Becoming indecisive can lead us to not being able to form opinions, the inability to form opinions leads us to travel around in circles, not going forward, not evolving - both personally and globally. Evenutally the world will stop - our personal worlds and the global world.
Nobody is toally free. Andy is not totally free - he HAS to go to USA to see his parents, he HAS to go to india to attend his business, he HAS to go to Cameroon to visit his girl.
Andy, you are free, but never totally free - you still have the need and the knowledge that at some point you have to conform with what those in your life need or find acceptable - else they may give up on trying to influence you and just leave, the same as you would if you had a jerk sitting next to you.
So you still have the ability to make decisions - thank god!