Lawrence Ask: Marriage Abroad Obligations Helping a Extended Family Financially? #marriage
Thanks for the wisdom, Andy.
On bad faith: I knew on a number of marriages that after the a house was built for the mother back in the brides village the marriage quickly fell apart.
People so value love that the can be blind to those use that to steal from them.
It is interesting listening to the video about the traditions involving marriage and money abroad. As we raise our kids, my husband and I have been reflecting on how the sexual and financial implications of marriage in the U.S. have changed so dramatically and we are worried about our kids' future. Marriage is becoming meaningless. People have many sexual lives before marriage. Married people have separate bank accounts and financially live like roommates. Children are thrust into daycare so their parents can maintain some financial independence from each other making it easier to divorce. Parents used to take pride in paying for the weddings of their children. Multi-generational living is sort of taboo now. While I am not sure I would want the traditional extremes abroad, our lack of culture in this area isn't desirable either. A few generations ago, future spouses had to at least fit in to a family somewhat and it was not uncommon to live in a multi-family home, separate but very close. These closer ties meant it was financially easier to care for children and elderly relatives. How to turn back the clock when likely spouse prospects for the kids will be part of the new normal? Are we the only ones anxious about this?
There are two things destroying my extended Graham family.
1. University Jobs forced Migration. 2. Indifference to correspondence.
1. University Jobs, "I will do anything for money mentality."
Everyone in our family goes to University, then moves to a location for money, they will live anywhere for money. The distances are over 150 miles, and too far away to have anything but big holiday, Christmas, and Thanksgiving get together. Great, they went to University and are not able to choose where they live on the planet, nothing great about this, more like a boom boom girl, doing anything for more money.
2. Indifference to correspondence./ I have about 40 plus family members, close, and maybe 75-80 on and on...
I email, they do not reply. I call, they do not pick up. I leave voice mails, then do not reply. I write them on Facebook, Instagram, etc. They feel no need to reply, or answer. I like Couchsurfing, there is a reply rate, and how often the person is online rate. People that do not reply are giving say, zero stars.
I have said many times, "Love is not leaving." Saying Hello is an obligation, to greet, and reply is what shows our humanity
Please, do not think the extended family in other countries is different, they who world is moving from the country villages to the urban cities, mainly so they can have the excitement. And, avoid their family supervision, more or less, not have anybody know who they are having sex with. They love the anonymous life. Anonymous living is not love, it is disgust for other humans, It means, an anonymous lifestyle reserves the right to be totally without respect for other humans.
Is there a solution? Will multiy-family homes return? Will multi-generational family survive, or return. Maybe if there is a great depression with worldwide hunger. Other than that, I am not sure how. I be loved, we need to be a person for respect, maybe this Apple Face time stuff will work better, but touching another human is needed for friendship.
Europe is much worst than America, anything goes, marriage is not important. Children revolted in the 60's, said that anyone over 30 was an idiot, and we are now a generation of children of hippies, with no respect for age.
Bottom line, say hello to each other, reply to questions, keep life simple, do NOT be friends with everyone. Make friends with people who have respect for you, and you must have respect for them. We can all have our own little family unit, we do not have to desert our children, we do not need to be deserted by our parents. Love is just staying in touch, and returning. Please note, i get tons of mean spirited emails because I am with my Mother living for two months. My Father died, my Mother likes the company, why in the world would I live separate? If I cannot live with my relatives, my sisters, brothers, nieces, and nephews for a day or two, then they are not my family, they are strangers. My best friends will allow me to sleep on their couches.
Illegal Immigrants - Please think about this, when a person from another country illegally moves to another country, it is only for money, and guarantees the nuclear family is destroyed, this type of immigration destroys family, it does not build families. Legal immigration, they can go home to visit!!!! Thanks, Andy Lee Graham
Obvious fiction because it is speculation on a possible future. Voodoo is the belief one person can control another person future with thoughts. Voodoo is also believing that other people can control our future with their thoughts. If both parties believe in voodoo it works. So, this is just some voodoo thinking, sort like the fake news, or propaganda that could be repeated until a person believes. As for me, I live on day a time, and do not try to control the future, i do not have any illusion I can control the future. Only humans can speculate about the future, and only humans get extremely angry when their hopes, wished, and / or illusions of reality do not come to past, as if reality had not right to be reality. I find it truly interesting listening to people anger, tears, fears. Often actors think as if they living in a film, where they wrote the end of he story. I could thought,, and written for hours on these type of thoughts that do not function, sort of lead to confusion on this site:http://www.mythinkingproblem.com/