I am Andy Lee Graham, I am not sure I what to do, or where to be, and I think of escaping to Africa.
I am not the wanted.
I am not the un-wanted.
I am the curious person who had a vocation in the USA, did well, succeeded for the most part, then chose a new career of writing my diary on-line. For some weird, and almost insane reason, people like to read my ramblings.
-- I feel like a tadpole in a pond called the Internet: It is sad, there is a never-ending debate in my mind, are the mass majority of users on the Internet good or bad? If, I need to ask the question, then I know the answer. Maybe, I am wanting to become a frog, and leave he pond.
The people who choose the simple lifestyles need to be admired, accepted, and acclaimed as genius, they are free from want.
I do not feel confused, but I know I am ready to choose a new path in my life, and that is scary. I think the new path is writing book, but I fear I am addicted to journalizing daily. What happens is this, I see many new and interesting situation and things as I travel the world. They are confusing:
For Example: I was in Sawegram, India where Mahatma Gandhi had an Ashram, and as I left my Hotel, I saw a man squatting and crapping on the side of the road. He did not go 20 yards off the road, I mean right along side the road.
I went to a small town and returned about 30 minutes later.
He was still there.
A man in Varanasi, India said,
"I can never leave India, it is a question mark."
Life is a question mark, and some people want to think about the possible answers. When I write my Blog, I am thinking about possible answers to the question marks, and I can leave them as maybe's.
I have decided, I have a "propositional" style of writing.
Proposition Defined: The meaning of a proposition includes having the quality or property of being either true or false, and as such propositions are claimed to be truthbearers.
What I mean by "propositional style," is I am writing about the question marks in life, and there is no absolute yes, or no, everything is debatable.
What hurts me is this...
I have to be aggressive to keep the hecklers off the pages, there is some form of "Internet Rage," the trolls and flamers are growing faster than I can ban them. The uses on the Internet believe they have the right to be disrespectful, I have the absolute right to write anything I want, and anyone has the right to click away.
But, who want to sit around aggressively stopping people all day, I do not want to aggressively encourage people all day either. I am not my brothers keeper, I am responsible to be a good example, and do the next best thing as I walk through my day. I cannot remember the last time I told a lie, I live my life transparent, if another person does not like me, they need to be responsible for their own feelings and not try to make me feel responsible.
No is the Answer to All Problems
When the world gets noisy, the answer to all problems is no, there are times when a person needs to say,
"I can't be bothered." as the Brits say, a brilliant phrase.
More or less, I am not going to deal with the petty in life, I think I am going to close my Facebook account, it is too petty for me.
OK, I went and deactivated it, what a sense of freedom.
Using My Curiosity for Good Ideas
Small minds discuss things
Average minds discuss people
Great minds discuss ideas
- Not sure, hard to say for sure who said this.
Small people seem to want to tell me everything the bought, or where they want to eat.
Average people talk about their children, their friends, and lovers.
Great minds talk about concepts, and what is true in life.
This is one of my goals matrix's in life, in a way, when listening to people, I try my best to propose ideas, or to try to understand the ideas, motives, and intent of other humans. And, when I am on Facebook, this makes me feel creepy, I think the motivations are sad.
I think, worrying about grammar and spelling is petty, like a misspelled word is a sign of intelligence, often it is a sign of typing. The need to be perfect is a sign of low self-esteem, to alway need to show a perfect frame photo, means you do not want a person to know the real you.
Bottom Line - I only Have So Much Curiosity to Go Around.
What make me immensely happy, is being curious about my world. I enjoy musing about the why's in life, what motivates the human animal, and why are they so vicious, and why do they want music so loud it vibrates their brain? I do not care for full answers, I enjoy the speculations and the prognosis for the future, or the evaluation of the past.
List of things that use up my brain curiosity that I can stop:
The list of things that do not make me a better person.
Things that I got involve in, and need to stop doing for good mental power, they are emotional vampires.
1. Emails from people who are radically simpler than me.
2. Facebook, a total waste of my brain.
4. Reading comments on my Travel Blog
5. Answering Private Message on my own Social Network
6. Allowing friends to tell me stories of their failures in life, and not being able to say, you are a loser, stop buying stupid things, and stop making bad decisions.
Andy Lee Graham - I do not want to be famous, I want to have fun.
7. YouTube, I forgot comments on YouTube, 90 percent hecklers and the others are nice, but mixed in with the hecklers.
Seth Godin Made a Great Blog Post One Day
I cannot find it, but he said something like, why would any sane man allow the masses of people to pass judgment on ourselves.
What he meant, I believe, and all is me paraphrasing, is that to respect ourselves, we must do what Rudyard Kipling said in his poem "IF."
"If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
Again, what Seth mean, was, why would we allow a bunch of anonymous people on the Internet to pass blame, or pass judge, to like or dislike us, why would we allow the rabble of life, the masses to weigh us.
I believe Warren Buffet said something like, the only thing that truly matter is our inner scorecard. And, Seth a great thinker, again is trying to say, keep an inner scorecard, and stay away from the petty.
I want to be weighed on my intentions in life,
and now by the PC police, the political correct people who pick at every thought and word utter by man, and find fault, never trying, or attempting to understand the Intent, and when they know the Intent, the pretend to not understand.
I am incapable of caring for the rabble of life, but I can love the people near me, or the one who enter my world with humility, and ideas. I am truly tired of the people who want to incite, who want to prove they are clever.
A simple truth is what I seek, but unfortunately, I feel my mind is not simple, but again, I try to use this quote as a guide to my life, to accept and have homility, to try to be teachable.
"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?"
- Albert Einstein
That is humility, Einstein was genius, because he accepted he could be wrong. He was forever the student, waiting the arrival of teachers from random sources.
Open and read this below, it is what is means to be a man. And being a man is a good thing, never listen the PC police, who want to rob your power.
Saying no, is the solution to people want to engage in small wars, that are too petty to be fought, to walk away, is the final judgment.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!
Finally, I do hope any grammar and mispelled word, with awkward phrase drive you crazy. Pefection can only be found by the acceptance that imperfection is true perfection. Because imperfection allow for both the yes's and no's to exist, and to know that all idea are maybe's.