Two Farmers in a Field
The one man also did not like the fact my parents had been married for over 55 years, he said it was not real, and not possible in this world. He said I was fortunate, and I had to finally say it was unfortunate his parents did not stay married, this became obvious.
I am Hobo Andys mom. His dad Jerry and I were married may 18, 1952 which makes 57 years and we have 5 children, 15 grandchildren and 5 great grandchildren. 9 of our grandchildren have graduated from college, 3 in college and 3 in school. Unfortunately people let you down from time to time Andy because none of us are perfect. I have been reading the memoirs of a lady I do not know personally but do respect very much. This is something she wrote. Try--and o boy, how hard it is- to find the good in people and not the bad. I remembered many years that I wasted so much time worrying about things wrong with my mother. Look For The Good In Others. Clara Barton, founder and president of the Red Cross was reminded of a terrible wrong a friend had done to her. Dont you remember a person asked her. No, replied Clara firmly. I distinctly remember forgetting that.Is not it better to keep a friend than make a enemy. Value your friends. They are your most important asset. Enjoy life.Do not cry over things that were or things that are not. Enjoy what you have now to the fullest. You only have 2 choices. you can like what you have or dislike it . It is best to have fun because no person likes a whiner. Above all, seek God. He will come to you if you look. Now Andy,mom says, you do not have to be pleased about what has happened but please do not take the attitude, My Way or The Highway. It is alright to hold people accountable but do not get carried away in your hurt and anger because you feel another person has not lived up to your expectations. Remember, none of us are perfect and our family has some very sad things going on at this time but we always can see others with worse problems. Count your Blessings and Be Happy. You have a family that will always stand by you and love you and say a little hehe because your sister has a son exactly like you. We all love it.
Very good Mom, truly succinct and to the point, separating the thoughts in to compartments, I know that took a lot of work pecking away and looking at the keyboard.
I expect myself to stay sober and I have stayed sober for over 22 years, because I expect this of myself I get it. The great part of countries like Thailand and underdeveloped countries like Thailand is they will allow people to be human, if a person falls drunk on the sidewalk, he is not instantly put in jail. They give many ways to forgive, forget, allowing people to save face in many ways, they never put you under the gun.
However, the great part of the USA is the two farmers in a field concept, it is the idea that two people can shake hands and all that is needed is the shaking of hands, there is a pact formed and it is not negotiable. The tenet behind it is simplicity, simple agree, simple words and just go do it. When all of sudden there is too much conversation, one of the farmers will politely walk back to the house.
Within this is forgiveness, if the other side is not capable, the situation changes, the other farmer would say,
Take care of me when you can.
Fun stuff and naively I live by this standard, I try to correlate what I say with what I do so that people trust me. I say naive, because I must look at it like a lamb, I cannot look at is like a wolf. I must believe the other person even when I know they are acting like a wolf and expet them to become a lamb.
When two farmers shake hands, when both farmers have the ability to perform the task and one farmer does not fulfill their side, there is no need to punish. This is the wonderful part of the handshake, they just part and never shake hands again.
There is also the Christian part of the equation, all things are forgivable if a person ask for forgiveness and repents or atones, and honest, forthright and deliberate attempt to rectify a problem.
I truly do not listen to excuses, if the person has the capacity to perform then I expect the person to perform. I do not accept excuses, this is enabling and the cause of all the stupid problems that happening in the world today.
However, people entered into deals the never planned on fulfilling, the first lesson in negotiations is to not enter into a contract the other side cannot fulfill easily.
We are all adults, if a person says something, if the person has the ability to do it, I will expect them to do it, I do not let them off the hook with excuses, the losers in life want all their excuses accepted without question. It is like shunning, you give a person many chances to come around, then they shun, a great system that is not understood.
I sleep very well at night, however if I say something, I do it, I also search for ways to forgive a person, and always waiting for the words I am sorry. Then I look for the an honest attempt to make good. Too funny often, eveyone wants forgiveness without any pain.
God does this, it is called mercy, coupled with grace.
The best thing that ever happened to me in my life, the courts took away my dirvers license for 10 years, put me on house arrest for one year for drunken driving. I was not forgiven, I had to pay the price. I paid the price that society expected, I gave them their pound of flesh and now I can hold my head high. I have no shame, I paid the price of what they expected. The told me this was expected and I did it.
Friendship is valuable, however, I no longer accept abuse.