People Who Wear Belts Should not Fly

I have been enjoying all this debate about the TSA scans and pat-downs.
"I know the people who are complaining…"
Wait a minute and I will tell you…

For my Mother and other sensible people, TSA is TMI, you truly do not need to know what TSA means, it is just idle knowledge, it is a USA thing.

TSA --- Transportation Security Administration
TMI --- Too Much Information

TSA is the USA government organization that is in charge of the scanning machines and pat downs in the airports in (ONLY) the USA. Truly means nothing to an international traveler, it is some USA thingy.

Lome, Togo West Africa --- Wednesday, November 24, 2010


Four out of five people do not care if they scan, pat, touch or check for dangerous personal items.

What do I do in airport lines? I try to behave like a good pet.

Who is the one in five who is complaining about the TSA?
Descartes called them the Rabble, I know you can find them on Facebook.

People Who Wear Belts Should not Fly
I go to the airport, and I hand my passport to a person --- before they ask, because I know the routine, it is a rerun.

I wait for the airline person to hand me back my passport, I check my baggage tags and I wait for him or her to say,
"The gate number."
--- It is a rerun, I have seen the show before, I am a player.

--- I also ask, "Is their airport tax?"
"Which Currency?"

I then proceed to exchange my last amount of foreign currency, because once I go through the scanner there may not be an exchange desk on the other side. I sometimes ask, is there food on the other side of that scanner thingy?

I walk up to the scanner line, while in line I start to remove all my coins, keys, and other items from my pockets, and put in my day bag. I do not wait until I am standing in front of the machine, this is rerun, I know the game.

I try to ask,
"Do you want me to remove the computer?"
"I check on the shoe thing, not all airports require me walk around in my socks on their dirty floors."

There is always this big fat man in a suit; he is disguised as a businessperson. He is walking through the scanner in front of me….
--- He walks up, it rings, and he backs up and to check his pockets.
Three times later, this truly clueless person is through the scanner.

I want to scream at him:
"Hey idiot is this the first time here, remove your belt."
This is the person who is complaining about the TSA.

I walk up to the scan area; I wink at the woman on the other side, do a fake left, and then bounce through. I raise my hands in celebration; I have won the "Airport Olympics."

How to win? Never set off that scanner alarm.
How to lose? Set off the alarm.

When I walk through, and the thingy does not make a noise, I look over at the TSA person and say,
"I am experienced."

People Who Wear Belts Should not Fly