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a life less normal - Talk Show
Listening to Bah in Ghana
On my last trip home to Indiana to visit friends and family, I asked Mike, a close friend a question,
"Have I changed because of my travels?"
"Yes, Andy you have become intolerant of annoyances, if there is a problem you leave."
The Travel Myth Dispelled
That was not the answer I wanted to hear, however, it was the answer I wanted to hear.
I wanted to hear this romantic answer,
"Andy, you have become kinder, wiser, since you started travel you have become content and happy, you are a better person."
Mike gave me what I wanted, an honest opinion, not some hokey, make-me-happy-lie that would give me a warm feeling until I realized it was a lie. Mike was a good friend, he told me what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. I am grateful to have Mike as a friend.
Ghana, West Africa --- Thursday, March 24, 2011
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What my friends want from me?
My friends want me to listen to them and to be entertained, they want to hang out together and share the good times. They want me to assist them in being happy; normally this is a long list of ways to help them.
I have been listening to my friend Bah, and needed to say to her last night,
"Bah, you want many things."
"What are you going to do for me?"
Why I came to Ghana?
My came to Ghana for one reason, I wanted to stop worrying about Bah. After a lot of thinking and deliberating, introspection and weighing the pros and cons.
I then inserted this problem into the "Serenity Prayer."
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
. I use the Serenity Prayer as a way of making decisions.
I want to stop worrying that Bah would die in the war in Ivory Coast.
Can I change Bah situations, and stop worrying?
Or do I need to accept the situation?
I had the wisdom to know that by coming to Ghana, Bah would leave Ivory Coast and be safe, and I could end my worry. Bah is out of Ivory Coast, my worry has stopped, I have achieved my selfish goal. It cost me about 1000 US Dollars to stop worrying whether Bah was going to be killed, and some time, I have an overabundance of time, however the money is tight.
How did I convince Bah to come to Ghana?
It was extremely easy, I just said I was returning to Ghana, and she came. However, as I type this, I realize there was an implied offer to Bah.
"I will take care of you."
"I will supply enough money."
"Maybe I will marry you."
(Do not be anal here, by returning I am saying that option is on the table.)
"Maybe I can give Bah a half-white baby."
I have been listening to Bah for the last day, and she wants to collect on here list of wants, dreams and wishes.
Did Bah want to leave Ivory Coast because it was dangerous?
I think the answer was no, she wanted to leave only if her life became easier, it had little to do with danger. Danger is an amazing thing, people block it from their minds, and they refuse to accept it exists, in spite of all the evidence.
1. The Allasane rebels killed her uncle.
2. The Allasane rebels took her mothers home.
3. Gbagbo closed all the banks and there is no money to live.
4. Normal people have set up roadblocks very few miles, they carry big clubs and if a cars to not give them money, they will beat or kill them.
I looked at this way, she was standing on the railway tracks, a train was coming and I decided to run and tackle her so she was off the tracks.
New Danger Story
The Allasane rebels sent a letter to the chief in the village where the mother and father of Bah lives. It said, more or less you must leave the village, we are coming and will kill you. Bah said to me, her mother says no, she is tired of walking.
"Please call your mother and say goodbye."
Listen to First Question and Answer Talk Show
I think in any society or culture there are times when the bullies feel they can go out and steal. The biggest bully came from Germany or Austria, his name was Hitler, Europe is the champion of bullies. The second maybe was from your neighborhood, Pol Pot, in Cambodia. Saddam is from Iraq, and he was a mass murderer.
Rwanda killed 800,000, and is a nothing compared to the 50 Million of the whites in Europe because of WW II.
In Cote d'Ivoire, the Islam is going to take over the country, and the Christians will be forced to flee, it will go from a 52 percent Islam to about 85 percent, as Islam spreads from the Sahel down to the ocean. More or less this is just a religion being used for profit.
Most wars are about money, then they use religions to inspire the people.
The radio show was good. Though I would recommended uploading the sound file to the site and add a play button so that you can listen to it on the page. It is my impression that people are a little reticent to click on a link and download something.
Hi Andy, would you still have asked Bah to go with you to Ghana if the Ivory Coast was safe?
quote..I had the wisdom to know that by coming to Ghana, Bah would leave Ivory Coast and be safe, and I could end my worry. Bah is out of Ivory Coast, my worry has stopped,
No, I would not be in Ghana if Bah was safe in Ivory Coast. I weighed it up, for 1000 US Dollars, I would know a friend of mine would not die. I want you to realize this was in many way very selfish on my part, I did not want to think about this for the rest of my life. I did not want to gamble with my thoughts or what ifs.
If she died, and I could have prevented it, I would be sitting around for the rest of my life dwelling on the what if, some would say it is noble, some would say it is selfish, bottom line, 1000 USD is nothing to me.
Two months is nothing to donate to one person.
Now, if you told me I needed to donate two months and live in Cairo, I may well let someone die, but Ghana is great and Cairo, Egypt is hell for me, but could be heaven for you.
How much money are your friends life's worth?
I think $1000 is a cheap price to pay to avoid troubling thoughts and regrets for the rest of your life. That kind of stress can kill you. I hope that you can help her find a solution to avoid danger.
If after your honest attempts to help her reason it out, and she decides (as an adult) to go back, then I think you have done your best.
Andy, I think your friend who described you leaving situations that annoy you is very telling. You probably come into contact with so many strangers in your life compared to the average person, that you have developed that behavior as a defense mechanism.
I was on house arrest for a year because of a DWI, while on house arrest I learned I needed to make myself happy.
There are people who want to be made happy.
There are people who make themselves happy.
The first priority of making yourself happy is the removal of annoyances, it is not the search for fun.
Travel has super magnified this ability and I have become intolerant of people promising to provide or give me something. There is almost daily somebody giving me an excuse on why I need to wait, or the promise of the future.
I wanted a chair and table for my room here in Ghana, the manager promised to get one. I waited until this morning, then went and took one from common area, normally I do not wait at all, I do it now. Do not wait for people, they seldom perform their promises.