Hi Andy...to me "live and let live", a maxim I personally live by, means: Let people BE who they are, rather than let people DO whatever they want. Obviously we need some general rules in society to ensure we can all live and BE, safely. If baddies trangress those laws they should be punished. For me its more about tolerance and not being critical and judgemental of those around us who are not exactly what we are used to, or what we expect. Happy travels, Melanie (I enjoy your posts)
Bravo! Andy, I'm so glad you returned to blogging again. Your posts are great fun to read and as always thought provoking.
Your recent love negotiations were very intriguing but difficult to understand. I guess I wonder how a man aspiring to self-actualization would expect a primative woman to understand equality, much less to be compatible. Even so, it was a great read and I'm sorry she is gone. Couldn't you get her an adjoining room so you each had the freedom to live as you wished? It sounded like she was bored and was definately not feeling the escape aspect you write about. You are living out of the box and she doesn't even understand the concept.
Maybe you will someday meet a woman who aspires to the same values as you do. Who will meet you in the middle and satisfy her needs for love and yours as well. I admire your openness with your feelings and wish you happiness.
perfect.writings today.i went to a funeral yesterday and been feeling some what odd,as you do after such events and your words made me feel better.thankyou.
Please do not come all the way to this area of West Africa for the beaches, there is nobody on the beaches, it is barren. Maybe in the Gambia or Senegal there are enough European surfers, but I have not been there.
There is only one great reason to come to West Africa, that is for the male to come and meet nice women. (Contrary or 100 percent opposite to the women in Thailand or the Philippines, this is the best alternative to a bad choice.)
The beaches suck, there is no moutains, the land away from the water is dry and desert or Islamic. There is this sliver of land that is Christian and welcoming to white people, but is double the cost of Asia, India, Central or South America which makes it a bad value for Backpacker. The only truly good value is for the men who want to come find a wife, that is the highest and best use of the Ghana, Togo, Benin, and Cote d'Ivoire region of West Africa.
I DO NOT WANT THIS TO BE A POSTER CHILD FOR POVERTY
- All the NGO and Missionaries need to leave.
Bah in Separate Room
--- On hindsight, that was a solution, but were many small problems, and some I am not going to write about or explain here.
Values as Me?
I think I am so far out of the box, there is almost no woman on the planet that can relate to me. I need a woman that has perpetually traveled for a few years, not living overseas, I mean moving, perpetually moving.
Truth is this, I am happy, I am content, yes of course I have ups and downs, and as normal everything in writing has higher impact than real life. Real life can be calm and I can write about something that happened in the course of 15 minutes, and the reader feels as if my whole day was a disaster.
Life is Good
Even if you did find a woman who "has perpetually traveled for a few years, not living overseas, I mean moving, perpetually moving", how do you "keep it all together"?
As a traveler, your maxim is to have fun. To move on when a place doesn't suit you anymore. Any relationship gets to the point where it isn't fun anymore. It is difficult enough for sedentary people to keep it together. If you constantly have your options open to the degree that a traveler has, and value that power to the degree travelers do, then it seems very unlikely that the concept of a long term relationship will fit in. I know Wade and Craig may be doing things differently, but then, they have offspring that functions as the cement to keep them and their partners together.
My 2 cents worth. And yes, damnit, I'm really pissed off at my fiance this morning... Argh!
Thanks for your posts.
Bah wanted to have a baby, I was thinking about calling this Baby Cement the "Perpetual Travelers Curse," the way we stop traveling.
It is interesting you say this:
"As a traveler, your maxim is to have fun."
My maxim is to remove all annoyances and the remainderman is fun.
I am not sure that is true, truly most of my days feel very routine and normal.
The "POWER" I have is the trump card of leaving, not so much the fun. I am able to walk away far enough from any problem to totally eliminate and exterminate even residual effects.
Generally, life is full of residual problems that turn into long-term resentments. I always feel sorry for divorced people that need to go talk with their ex spouse they hate.
Happiness and fun is rewarded to the person recognizes people who cause problems, then removing these annoying people from their doorstep quickly, then also learn how to keep them from returning. When you can do that, all that is left in life is enjoyment. I seldom work very hard to have fun, I do little, I am content when all the annoyances are "Jete" out the door.
JD, if the "Horrible" does not scare you, then not a problem.
If you are a Black person, than it will be ten times easier than a White man, I stick out like a sore thumb.
Speed is what causes most travelers problem, the slower you go, the sater.
Are you going to be tourist on a two week vacation, or are you coming out for months?
The problem for a tourist is they just cannot seem to stop with the "Africa is Poor" crap, this feeling sorry, or wanting to help perverts their brains and makes not treat the locals as equals.
I said horrible, I did no say you would get killed, it just could be trying.
There is nothing I could wish more for Africa, than good American Blacks coming to see where their roots are, to see the faces of their ancestors up close and real. This trip will make you see the black and white issues clearly and realize we are all the same, just a different paint used.
You will not have a problem, just keep the friendly tone and soft nature when traveling around in West Africa and they will accept you.