I was supposed to meet a person yesterday for coffee at 4:00 pm at a local restaurant. 4:00 pm arrived, and the person did not, so I went back home. That seems simple, but the other person did not see this as reasonable, and is now bugging me to meet again. It all seem rather simple, the person did not show up, I assume they do not care about me, and we stop, no big deal, our acquaintance ends. I do not want years of waiting on a person to start because I enabled them to believe I would wait. Having friends is work, and working to have idiot friends is stupid on my part.
I read this incredibly boring book about 25 years ago, and it truly help me to understand people, I am quite glad I read it.
Lago Atitlan, Guatemala
(One of the perfect climates and most beautiful locations on earth.)
by Andy Graham (Gadget) of HoboTraveler.com | Gadget Profile
My advice, never tell someone they are not OK.
If you ignore a person, you are saying to this person, you are not OK. Now, if you know me, you now I seldom ignore people, I can be extremely aggressive, and say leave, but I will not ignore a hello or a greeting, I will reply. I also expect a reply in return, if I say hello.
I do my best to tell people, you are OK, or you are not OK.
I believe that all people should be personable, they should walk up to each other, shake hands, hug, do something and convey to the other person they are OK.
If you are wise, savvy and understand human nature, you can make a premeditated decision and know what you are doing, are you saying OK to them, or not OK?
To person A, I will do something to show them they are OK.
To person B, I will do something to show them they are NOT OK, and to leave me alone.
Generally, being personable will not cause you any problems, and assuring the people around you that they are OK will make life simpler.
However, if you do something like ignore a person on purpose, you may find that person starts to follow you around. Why, it is quite simple, when you tell another person they are not OK, that person may have low self esteem, and take the rejection personal.
They may then follow you around, trying to get you to treat them OK, in an attempt to get you to rescind or take back your NOT OK judgment.
We used to say in college, they are like dogs,
"Beat them with a stick and they keep coming back for more."
Generally the crazier the lot of people, the more you ignore them, the more you are a jerk, the more friends you will have.
The movie 9 ½ Weeks was one big your not OK example, if a person loves this movie, then run.
I have been accidentally ignoring old women here in Pana, now I have an over surplus of old women trying to be my friend, this is horrible.