Filipino Hiya

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Filipino Hiya
“Hiya = shame. Much of what Filipinos do and don't do is motivated by the avoidance of hiya.”
- The avoidance of Shame.
-By Jonathan Aquino Jonathan Aquino

I want and need to have a couple of respectable friends here in the Philippines. After all the fun and games, the accumulation of friends when traveling is a need, not a want.

It is possible this quote above came from inside the book
“Philippines (Culture Shock!)”

Culture are pealed and understood like an onion, one layer at a time. With the learning of the word “Hiya,” I am removing one more layer of the onion and hopefully understanding the Philippines enough to find a couple of respectable friends. The understanding of the how shame works in the Philippines is an essential piece of knowledge to make friends in the Philippines.

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Bauang - Paringao - San Fernando, Philippines
La Union Province
Southeast Asia
Monday, September 7, 2009
Buy the Same Gear as Andy uses

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Shame saved my life, the personal shame I had for being a drunk, embarrassing myself, friends and family made me stop drinking. I have got up for 22 years with one goal in my mind, to be a good boy so I can avoid this shame.

If I want friends, maybe the best way to lose friends and not influence people is to shame them.

BLOG COMMENTS
I always have a sudden increase in mocking, mean and attacking comments when I visit the Philippines. I am always a little baffled, I traveled in Guatemala, Peru, and East Africa and comments were balance, now that I am in the Philippines personal attack on my have multiplied ten fold.

Finding Friends in the Philippines
When in Rome, do as the Romans do, I have realized the Expats in this country react and think about the same as the Philippines, I would call the “shame based,” or full of "toxic shame." The reader who have been to the Philippines become extremely angry when I say normal cultural comments about the Philippines. I am not allowed to make comments that nobody would even think strange about Africa without attempted vengeance by readers.

Hiya is the word for shame in Tagalog; this is an essential ingredient of the Filipino culture. I would say, anyway we do it; we find people of like kind. I am sitting here in my Hotel with maybe one new friend, and I doubt this friendship will survive longer than my travels in this country.

I dot NOT find like-kind friends here in the Philippines. I cannot find friends in the Philippines, I have one, Bjorn in Manila, all the rest slowly become my walk-on-the-other-side friends.

Why am I here?

Well, on the positive side, daily I have called 2-3 of my good friends from all over the planet. I have about 20-30 close friends. I have been spending hours talking with friends over Skype.com. This hotel has the best connection in my 11 years of travel, I can make telephone calls at 7-8:00 at night, and I can make a phone call anytime I wish, without worrying. I have what feels like a normal USA phone system in my room.

Shame is a great thing, it saved my life, and I am always amazed how many people want to shame me for coming to the Philippines. I tend to think they know what they do here; they believe I am doing the same… Hehehe

Well folks, enough talking, I am going to treat the Philippines like a review of products. I am going to only explain what I love about the place, not want is shameful.

This is not so important for the Journal here, I truly accept that this is an internet page, it is not me. However, with my new understanding of Hiya, the people of the Philippines can become my friends. I am not going to say I am proud of them...

I am never going to make friends with the Expats here, they normally drink like a fish, how is a person who does not drink fit in, it just is not possible. Drunks and non-drinkers are like water and oil; they do not mix. I do not like them, they do not like me, and this is ok.

Excellent review of the book
Great Review of Cultural Shock Book

Hiya explained by a Filipina girl living in Switzerland.
Hiya

Hiya
Hiya

Ok, all you shame based folks living or planning to live in the Philippines, I will give you a break and stop pointing at you… hehehe. Moreover, for you people who think you can shame me or make me apologize for my thoughts or actions, give up, I am in love with myself, I have no shame, mainly because I am good man… hehehe

Filipino Hiya

diva4d

Aaaw man! How about us folks that have NOT traveled there, and would like to read all of what you really feel being there?? (Hehe - you can never please everybody, can you?)

Anyway - look forward to you planning to come to South Africa eventually. Would be great to meet the hobo who introduced me to travel writing... :)

Keep well, Andy!