If I cannot to do good for Africa today, maybe I can do nothing well. I am going to fast today, and I am not sure why, but I have faith it will help.
2:04 AM, I woke up in fear, I am afraid, I am angry. I reached over to touch the black girl in my bed and she becomes angry, Pushing away my hand from her butt, she says,
"It is Friday."
I am afraid, I am angry, yesterday she said something like,
"Good Friday is for:"
I am angry, I wanted to say,
"The only thing Africans can do well, the only things I trust you to do, is the no work."
I need a moments, I need a pause, I need the "caesura," I am afraid to open my mouth for fear I will scream at Africa,
"I hate you."
Ghana, West Africa --- Friday, April 22, 2011
by Andy Graham (Gadget) of HoboTraveler.com | Gadget Profile
And anytime you feel the pain
Hey Jude refrain
don't carry the world upon your shoulders
- Lyric from Song, Hey Jude by The Beatles
Why I Fast?
My world can start to spin, then just by trying to stop it, I sadly make it spin faster, until it goes out of control. I am angry at Africa, I must accept there is nothing I can do, and in the times when this weight is on my shoulders, when my mind is tempted to spin out of control. I need to refrain, I need to do something, my soul demands to do something, but there is no strength in my limbs, my mind, my heart, I have no love left to give to you my Africa.
To fast is to stop, whether I am the person being selfish, or whether Africa is selfish, a small solution is to fast. To stop, to refrain, to give up, to not take, to stop trying to change the world and have faith that all is good.
When I have nothing left, when there is no love in my heart, I still can offer one more ounce of faith.
I can fast, I can stop until I accept that I am not in control, that is faith.