Travel Abroad to Pillage and Plunder

Piracy is a travel tradition, call travelers of the planet by noble names, Conquistador, Conquerors and Captains, we are Pirates.

Travel Abroad to Pillage and Plunder

Piracy is a travel tradition, call travelers of the planet by noble names, Conquistador, Conquerors and Captains. In reality, we are land pirates who get the girl, plunder, and many benefits, because this is why people travel.

We leave under one flag, and hoist up a new one the minute we lose sight of shore.

Pirates Pirate

The travel industry is morally bankrupt; it takes advantage of foreigners who do not speak the local language. We, who are confused, frightened, and naïve, and then they have the gall to wants us to say thank you after the financial rape, as if they did us a favor. (This is why I hate travel in Europe, bad service; bad prices and they want to me say thanks, as if paying 8 dollars for Head and Shoulders shampoo is a good deal.)

The only way to fight the Hoteliers, and the travel industry is to accept the only way to beat a Pirate, is to be a Pirate.

I like easy money, and easy living. I live abroad in poor countries because I can live like a King, a Pirate on pennies, not dollars. I love making US Dollars, and spending them in cheap countries, this allows me to leverage a life of luxury.

I really like Pirates. No, that is not correct.
- I really like the romanticized version of being a Pirate, I suspect real Pirates are dangerous humans, in fact, I am positive; I am surrounded by them, travelers, NGO’s ONG, Expats, and missionary just noble words for Pirates. It is all about easy money, that is the essence of Piracy, something for nothing.

I really like Travel,
- No, I really like the romanticized celebration of travel, and travelers. Generally, moving using any form of transportation is human torture. Modern air travel is the worst, sitting for hours with nothing to see, but celebrated because of the speed, a bus has trees, houses, and life, a plane is in dead air space.

I believe this view of my life as a travel is acceptable, I mean, I enjoy the silly views people have about travel, and travelers, but they are not true. But I enjoy their good way of talking about me, a traveler, as if I am noble, that is good fun, but a crock, its the Pirates life for me.

I like living in different cultures, where pillage and plunder is bountiful.

Plunder and Pillage Defined:
Yikes, I apologize, those two words are really horrible, and both words are defined as real Pirates, not my romanticized version of “Captain Jack,” from the Pirates of the Caribbean. A fun and happy sort, Who enjoys good living, adventure and no real work to be done.

The truth is pillage is stealing, and plunder if the benefits of the theft, the reward for Pirates, and sometimes Privateers.
(Privateers have the backing of the Queen.)

I enjoy the easy life, I am addicted to doing nothing all day.

Yes, I work a lot, but it is not working, I play my work all day, yes, maybe, if you call making videos of fun people work, then I do indeed work a lot, but not really, I play at work all day.

Yet, if I ever return to the USA to live, it will be to escape the Pirates, the real Pirates on land and sea. There is no shortage on planet earth, the call of easy money is every mans dream.

We Dream of the Big Break.

National Geographic Television called me, wrote me two years ago and asked if they could interview me.
(They have never come, I think they got lost.)

My first thought was when they called,
“I am a made man.”

I would have made my bones, become part of the invincible upper echelons; the untouchable by mere, mediocre travel writers, my words would be gold.

The dream of fortune has yet to come, I am still waiting to become a made man. And we all dream of our big break, the easy money, the plunder, the pillage, the taking of the good life and holding onto it. I truly do not want the five minutes of fame, just give me the money.

I have started to dream about Social Security money, the USA will pay me some 600 USD per month, a pittance inside the USA, but a fortune in Africa. At age 62, I am made man financial, just when my body is going for broke.

The average person in Togo, West Africa earns 60 USD per month, and in Benin, I think it is less, what a great place to have 600 USD; I am ten times richer than my fellow man.

That is indeed plunder, and pillage, to make money, for which I did not work hard, more or less is given to me, and why? Because my Mother and Father had sex inside the USA, and not here in Africa, I have the lucky passport, I am but a lucky sperm.

That is what we want in life, the lucky plunder, the lucky pillage, the easy money, it is human nature.

Explaining the Land Pirate Mentality:
Last night a Benin, West African girl plundered my good nature, she pillaged me, it was insulting, but it happened, I allowed it, just to be sure that is what she really wanted to do.

I have four bottles of purified water sitting up against my wall. They are there for no special reason, just seems to be good place to store them. Well, this girl saw them, and she asked in French,
“Can I have water?”
I am good natured sort of bloke, this is harmless I thought, so I hand her a bottle, thinking she would open it, and take a drink. No, she took the bottle and put into her purse, some bag like thing she carries and was ready to leave with her plunder.

I was amused, intrigued, and it lead to this Blog post I am writing. The more I thought, I realized, I am no different than her, I want the easy takings.

Well, that is not 100 percent true, I am not “gourmand,” I am not “avidité” nobody can call me “gourmandise,”
OK, I will settle for the word,
I am a gourmet of good living, I am an aspiring
"Bon Vivant"

She wanted something for nothing, she wanted plunder, and pillage, she took from the rich and gave to the poor. Funny how this money never works it way downstream. Oops, in the entire world, I have never met a person who said, “I am rich,” it is the universal mantra to acclaim poverty,
“I am overworked, and do not have enough money.”

Translated this means,
“Give me your money, or better yet, just sit back, and allow me to take it, and say thank you.”

I said Merci as the girl left, I took a long look at her bag, and vowed to erase this new friend from my life, and she became a nothing, a zero. No, I did not get anything in return for the water, etc. it was a fun but really just another day of negotiations with Pirates. Quid pro quo is not the pirate’s way.

I know am frustrated in telling this story --- and always wish I could put this into words that enlightened. I truly live a life of getting plenty, for almost nothing. I do not steal it, but many people would see it as cheating.

I buy at 1/5 the price of other tourists; I live at 1/5 the price.

What is cheating? But not cheating?
Taxis try to cheat me, they ask 5 dollars for a ride, when the going price is 25 cents. It is not technically cheating, it is not illegal, but morally corrupt in many ways, it is not good business, and it is being a land Pirate, and Taxi drivers are champions.

But, I cheat the Hotels on a daily basis, everywhere on the planet; I cheat the planes, the trains, the automobiles etc. If anyone puts on the Travel Industry smile, I go into Piracy mode; I think like a Pirate, I know my opponent does not fight fair.

The Hotel I am in, wants 20 USD per night, and the majority of travelers pay 20-50 USD per night and are hilariously happy. Yet I pay only 10, because I cheated the Hotel system, I plunder it, and I required them to give me the best room in the Hotel at far less than the going price…

But, at 10 Dollars, I am paying three times more than fair; I am still on the moral high ground. I am a Pirate, I know I must force them to give up the booty.

Do the math and you also can cheat, plunder, and pillage your way around the planet earth. One only needs to concentrate on the Hotels, all the other stuff is easy.

I have never stolen a thing, but I get the better deal on plane tickets, when the person next to me wants to know the price of my ticket, I never tell them, they will be angry, they will say, you cheated Andy.

Hotel math is always same in any country on the planet.

Ask this question:
What is the minimum wage of a country?

Here in Benin, it is about 2 dollars per day.

Multiple the daily wage, by 1 to 5, and that is the correct price, the top you need to pay.

2 x 5 is 10 dollars
2 is the days wage in Benin
5 because I am a nice guy.

I 100 percent guaranteed it is possible to rent a room here for 2 dollars per day, it has to be possible. It is impossible for people to pay more than they earn for housing.

I then will pay up to three times more than the daily minimal wage, I am now paying 5 times, and I am at 10 dollars. After that, I start to get morally indignant with Hotel owners. And I say, why do you deserve to get paid more than any other human in this country, because I am white? Because I am rich, are you poor?

Ok, but in reverse, the Hotel Pirates try to cheat me, and I cheat them back, I get the room at plunder prices, and they accept, because I am still paying them more than they deserve.

We all get the bargain we deserve out of life, but if you can Pirate you way through, you will see, you must be the Pirate, and not the person being plundered.

Take what is fair in life, but understanding what is fair, is the delusional complicated thing to understand.

Please do the math of any country, learn what the minimum salary is, the minimum wage, and do not spoil the local people, do not teach them the rewards of Land Piracy, and be the plunderer, not the plundered

Fun stuff, I am here, and you are there.

Andy Graham
Natitingou, Benin West Africa
February 2013 


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