Love is good, but intermarriage is almost a taboo.
Whether to Date Islamic or Christian Girls
Lovers, and friends are demanding, they truly refuse to allow me to be me, the world demands I join the soap opera. Often friends talk down at me, it feels so petty. People have insane pride in Nation, Religion, Color and Creed, it is annoying. They all want to me to join the tribe, and never intermarry; you are free to think as you want, but not really do it.
I am not sure if white men and women in the USA know it, but black girls hair breaks, or falls out after 4-5 inches. And, I suspect the American black girls hide this distressing genetic difference. If a black girl uses heavy duty amounts of crème, the hair grows longer, but only with 5-10 times more money, and work than a white girl. American black girls have the money to do this, while in many poorer countries, they just accept they do not have hair, and where wigs, or weave hair onto the short hair. Often girls wear scarves which make them appear Islamic.
My Attraction for Islamic Girls
My friend Marc came from Togo to visit for two weeks. Yesterday a girl walked into the buvette where we were drinking Youki sodas. She had smooth skin, white teeth, and a scarf on her hair, a long blue dress; he looked at me and said,
“You like Mussleman girls.”
This was a statement, not a question, after spending two weeks talking and walking around town we know which type of girls the other likes.
I was proud of myself, I never thought about it, I hope I am opened minded about the type of girls that attract my eye. But, after a little introspection, Marc is correct, I am more attracted to Muslim girls, here, than the Christian ones, which would surely put the scare of Christ into my mothers head, aagh… Nope, I will not go to Hell for dating an Islamic girl, but it is possible I could have the Kingdom of Hell here on earth for doing so.
Me a Christian Dating Islamic Girls
West Africa black girls cannot grow hair, so they wear scarves on their heads. The Christian and the Islamic girls both cover their bald heads with scarves, one needs to pay attention closely to know their religion, to recognize the religious tribe.
This is not a heavy duty Islamic area, so only on Islamic Friday does it become more obvious they are Islamic. Christians stick out on Sundays, and Islamic girls stick out on Fridays, and if you was hyper - (I was about to type in the word racists, but it is not racism.) Then you would care, I do not care.
Racism is irrational; there are many rational reasons to not like color, religions, creed, or marital status. Personally, I do not date divorced girls, I do not date failed marriages, it is judgmental, and nothing is more judgmental than love. It is personal preference on steroid, it is taking sides, it is petty, the ultimate pettiness, all the other people that different in the end, are not acceptable as lover, only friends, but not that true of friend.
As best I know, everyone on the planet joins a religious tribe, I know, because I have trouble remembering to respect my Christian tribe. I just do not care, and often it is awkward, when the girls or whites chastise me.
“She is Islamic.”
“She is Black.”
I have to think, what the hell does that mean, I do not talk code? Oh, that means,
“Andy, you are Christian, you cannot marry an Islamic.”
I often say,
“If she don’t tell, I won’t tell.”
My friends will say,
“She is Black.”
Again, I will not tell, if you do not tell, please do not tell the girl she is Black, maybe she is unaware. Whites can be annoying in their petty remarks, they try to not be racist, and I always know they are racist, when I am gawking at a black girl. But, generally blacks are now more racist than whites. I always laugh when they have Black Pride Day, and say,
“Tomorrow is White Pride day.”
Racism is fun crap, everyone make broad stereotypical generalizations about Germans, French, Swiss, Africans, Thais and Japanese and all the other labels that separate us for logical reasons. We all live in separate countries because in the end, we do not like to have inter-tribal marriages, it can cause war.
There is a constant encouragement by people I meet to travel to Europe, the underlying message is,
“The people there are MORE ok.”
Fun stuff and I have yet to meet any person on planet earth that does not have some irrational prejudices, revealed by offhand comments. It is all a sense of superiority, than runs amok.
Hey, the Islamic girl was drinking beer, and I was not, what is up with that?
To a certain degree I think we all have some prejudice. It's difficult not to in a world with so many problems. Prejudice is not just confined to racism it covers all aspects of life.
My main prejudice is aimed at obvious stupidity and lack of common sense.
I grew up with ethnic prejudice laid on me by my parents and kids I grew up with.
I basically got away from it when I went into the Marine Corps and you had to learn very quickly that to survive you needed to rely on people of many different backgrounds.
When I married my 1st wife both her parents and mine didn't want anything to do with us for for a while, she being Japanese. Oh well they finally came around but I don't doubt that they still never fully accepted it.
I also do have another prejudice (of course I always said it is only a personal preference) I have never gone with obese, stupid, unattractive, etc women. This also applies to most any people I encounter.
We are all human, so we sometimes use our minds in ways we regret or we allow our subconscious mind's programming to influence our mind to say, or do, or think in a morally wrong or ethically wrong or humanly wrong way.
If we can self-correct, after we think, or behave, in hurtful ways towards ourselves and others, we can let those things go, not do them again, and then we, and the people around us, will be happier and we will not hurt others or ourselves, at any level, physical, emotional, mental or spiritual.
That's pretty difficult! The mind and subconscious mind are powerful forces that shape our existence and our view of "reality".
Often, our "prejudgements" about ourselves, others and the world hurt us more than the people and world around us, because they limit us, our perspective,our outlook and our possibilities, our potential.
If we can notice and then let go of our hurtful prejudicial thoughts and actions on a moment to moment basis, life goes much easier for us and the world we are interacting with. This can be quite hard to do if we try to do it "mentally".
A 20th Century Indian, Sri Ramana Maharshi, who, by all contemporary accounts, had achieved "the ultimate goal", self-realization or freedom, and could communicate a bit of it to people around him who were receptive through his inner "silence". Many of the millions who came to see him during his lifetime, and experience this silence, wanted answers to their questions about achieving this silence!
So, Sri Ramana sometimes answered questions from seekers who were looking for what he "had".
He suggested the practice of "self-inquiry", rather than conventional spiritual methods like meditating for long hours for years, changing one's beliefs or religion, leaving one's job/family/responsibilities and becoming a wandering monk, going to a monastery, giving up the ordinary life, etc. He explained how anyone could practice self-inquiry in all of one's mundane and/or busy and challenging daily activities and achieve the same thing he had achieved.
Anyway, it's all on the wiki.
What has it got to do with our prejudices?
Well, from my understanding, our human mind, from the conscious to the subconscious, is the root of our prejudices, so if one can practice self-inquiry, it is possible to see and experience/feel the source of all things, all people, and all experiences, constantly, from moment to moment.
Then there will be zero prejudice(s) in our lives, from moment to moment, from day to day and we will be constantly enjoying our lives.
By the way, Andy, there's a link on your site that might help you if you are "into" Muslim gals:
It's called "How to convert to Islam and become a Muslim".
I thought the "and" in the title above was interesting!
Having lived and worked in the Kingdom, the KSA, for a few years, I wouldn't recommend "converting" but then I wouldn't recommend you join any other religion either. LOL!
I think you are much better off, feeling free to date any gal you feel attracted to, color/religion/language be damned!
It is funny, the way they behave is more natural to me. I asked a Muslim friend in Kara what happens if I marry a Muslim girl? He said, if Christian man marries and Islamic girl, then he must become Muslim. If a Christian girl marries an Islamic man, then the man's religion dominates. I said, that is humorous, any way you do it, the marriage is Islamic. I said, we will move out of country. I am not really willing to have a person in my home that has 5 excuses per day to not work... hehehe In the end, I am not going to accept the rules and nature of this religion. Generally, the Muslim girls came over, drank beer, I were not Muslim with me, but then again, this is a gift culture, so all in all, nothing is up front an honest about dating or love.
In KSA the rich guys go to egypt rent an apartment for a few days and take up with a "housekeeper" -they sign a marriage cerfificate then divorce the hired "wife" when they leave, so they can stay legal with Islamic law .
Mark, etc. Maybe I'll convert. Lot cheaper than keeping a real wife and then at some point paying for the divorce.
One of the largest problems with all the older religions they still conduct their business based on their beginnings, Islam 8th Century, Christian 1st Century, etc. But they are right up with the times with their power and money.
Hey Mark and Bill,
Having lived and worked in Jeddah for a few years, I had heard about the holiday "marriage and quickie divorces", but it wasn't only in Egypt.
I also heard about it being done in Sri Lanka, so I'm guess it happens in many Saudi holiday destinations.
I was told that the locals believed that by giving alms to the poor you could "wipe your slate" clean of all previous sins since the last giving of alms.
In Jeddah we always saw women (from Africa mostly) begging at the intersections when the traffic was stopped for a red light.
I was told that the women rented babies to carry into the heat, dust and the traffic so they could get bigger donations.
It was a win-win situation. The sinner-men drivers could get absolution on the way to or from work at most any intersection and the women-baby-beggars could earn a living...but the babies were the ultimate losers.
Peoples' beliefs motivate them to do many odd things....
Tokoro - You're right about beliefs but what is irritating to me is how people (everywhere) will use culture and of course religion as an excuse for what they do even when it is obvious what they do is often against either written laws and/or ethical common sense.
They will quote from their religions or make statements about it's their culture and so it's justifiable in their minds to do both stupid and horrifying things and then expect to be forgiven any sins committed.
I realize we all make mistakes but civilized people try to either correct their mistakes and not make them again or think first and not make them in the first place.
There are billions of people who base their lives on religion and culture and laws become secondary to them and I think that is a major part of the many problems we have in this world today. They refuse to catch up and live in the 21st Century.
Re: There are billions of people who base their lives on religion and culture and laws become secondary to them and I think that is a major part of the many problems we have in this world today. They refuse to catch up and live in the 21st Century.
Yes, billions. Unfortunately in many countries the"rule of law" is not only secondary to the countries' primary belief system, the rule of law is not really working except very superficially: it is subject to corruption, bribery, etc., or it is not transparent to the degree (we think) it is in Western European countries.
A Muslim colleague was working with at the university in Jeddah was shocked by the local people's version of "his" religion when he first arrived in the Kingdom, the "Holy Land" for him and his countrymen and women. He said, THIS not "my" way, THIS not the way we Muslims behave in our country (a Muslim one). However, he also added, if you think standards are "low" here today, well, just imagine what was happening here before [this system] became "the law" and somewhat improved standards of behavior!
Then too, you've got the "Religious Police" running around the streets and shopping malls, hitting men on the legs with their sticks (if they're wearing cut-offs and their knees are showing) and doing even worse if a local woman is not properly "covered" and veiled. (In Jeddah they tend not to confront foreign males at the mall entrances, but apparently in Riyadh it's a different story.)
Regressive authorities, based (sometimes loosely) on belief systems, myth-based systems, rather than the rule of law, are in the majority around the globe, and those countries using a transparent legal system, based on "the rule of law" are in the minority.
It isn't going to change soon, I fear.
Read more: http://www.hobotraveler.com/love/whether-to-date-islamic-or-christian-girls.php#comments#ixzz3419xEEXh
Re: Andy's consideration of converting to Islam:
Just don't do it.
Just don't "convert".
In some countries converting and then renouncing or quitting later is literally a "capital offense".
Yes, you can be (legally) executed if charged and convicted in some countries!
If you really want to give the religion a trial, convert to "Sufism" a milder, mystical and peace loving sect that the conservatives really HATE, but grudgingly, they have to accept as being Muslim.
Also, only convert in a modern country like the USA or Canada. That way, later you can quit if you want, but you won't be subject to execution. LOL
I would never marry or live with a woman that insisted on my believing in her religion, maybe asking me to convert. No way ever.
My 1st wife was Buddhist, I a non practicing Catholic. We never had a problem. 2nd wife a Catholic but much like me, go sometimes to appease her mom and dad, I would not go. I ended up being a single, divorced parent to two and I introduced them to religions both by teaching and taking them to various rituals. I have a minor in History and studied religions of the world, wrote a couple of published papers on them. My daughter is a confirmed atheist, my son has refound Christianity through his new wife and is happy with it. I am a confirmed atheist but don't push it, advertise it or care much about it one way or the other.
I have friends of Christianity sects, Muslim, Jewish, even had one a Hindu, have them that are Buddhist and Shinto.
We all have the agreement to disagree and not discuss religions or politics. We get along fine.
What I am is a Philosophical Buddhist. I care not for any organized religion but I respect those who do as long as they do not say something stupid about it to me or say anything about conversion or heaven and hell, etc.
Why all this, because if you marry a woman and she is a regular religious person and you are not, regardless if you convert or not, you will become unhappy. I have seen it many times. You can be of different politics, education, race, culture, etc but not of a regular going to rituals religion and both be happy for evermore.
Love does not conquer all but it can help at times. LOL. Of course that's my opinion and I'm welcome to it.
Hey Boys, I am never converting religions, never even considered it. But it always possible I marry a girl from a different religion. Religions are just one of 100's of ways people find to argue.