Living Abroad has different challenges, the normal 80 percent of the planet, the non-over-developed countries are full of challenges.
Living abroad is Seldom Boring or Lonely
It is 5:03 am in Lome, Togo and for some reason, the electricity has gone off. The fan stopped, it is a little uncomfortable, I am getting hot, this is a strange situation because the light outside my door is on. Maybe the electrical breaker tripped, I think the breaks are in the garage, but the door is locked, I need to wait for another hour or two until people wake. I am in a compound, family home, an older gentleman from Togo owns the place, and rents out two private off the house rooms. It is great, but truly a home, a family situation in most ways, except the rooms are not attached, and girls or friends can visit as they want.
The situation I explained above is why; life is seldom boring in 80 percent of the countries on the planet. I suspect, you can go to Europe, Australia, and the USA and be insanely bored. But the normal countries, the non-over-developed ones are always a challenge; there are always a few problems to solve. But solving problems is an addictive thing, beware of these things, they keep you too busy to know your life is passing you by.
We believe we want a harmonious, quiet, and peaceful existence, but in my opinion, people search for chaos, otherwise all the cities would disappear, and people would move back to the small towns. Party life would seize, and people would sit at home watching movies.
Loneliness when living abroad is more a personal issue, some people are social scrooges, or so off the wall crazy, they cannot have friends.
Generally, in the developed world, people are lonely when there appears to be no way to achieve sex, or when they are married, and their wife or husband is a nothing to them. Adultery, extramarital sex is rampant on the planet, this is what makes Facebook thrive, and it allows the people to have some form of cyber sex, flirt, and hook up in secret.
Prostitutes in 80 percent of the planet are a dime a dozen, so men are never that wanting, and women can always find a willing man.
Now, the loneliness issue to me, is when you demand to have a perfect friend, someone who holds you hand in a way that you have on you what-is-a-friend-list.
How to find people to hang out with is the big problem? Generally, anyone I ever had to hang out with eventually got married, and left me. We all know, we are searching for the mate, so we can leave our “hangout friends.”
In a way, I think people should find great places to work, with great hangout friends at work. We spend the most amount of waking hours working, and often ignore these people, they are incredibly important.
I hear from Americans,
“I have things to do, I need to work.”
This is often staying too busy to know, you are a miserable SOB. I am not saying people that work are miserable, but it is little weird to think that the only thing that defines person is their job. Yet, studies have proven, the job is more important than the wife or husband.
I am here in Lome, Togo; I do not know that many people. I am looking for restaurants, bars, or places where people are clustering.
I often find a cluster of girls in the hair braiding places, there can be as many as 10 girls working in these hair shops. They have a Madame who is the boss, and many girls braiding client’s hair. Strangely, this is a great cluster of girls for me to visit with, and to get to know, this often leads to more and more friendships.
The local coffee shops are in Central and South America, and there is always a bar in Southeast Asia.
Work is not the solution to loneliness, that is just a delay, but a good project, some work does occupy enough hours to stay away the boredom.
My solution is always this, I walk around for hours on end, until I find an ever increasing number of places to stop and talk.
Salvation, it is 5:28 am, and the fan started, there is electricity again, never a boring day in West Africa.