I am Angry at Myself for Getting Fat
Today I weigh 197 pounds, at six foot tall, I believe I need to be between 146 and 181 pounds, I am 32 pounds overweight today, I want to weigh 165.
My hip or back is in great pain, it has reach a level that makes me afraid. I must only think of this as a one day a time problem, if for some reason this pain lasted for the rest of my life it would be an intolerable life.
1. At age 16 I fell on my hip while pole vaulting and hurt my hip, there is a scar from where the skin stretched.
2. At age 23 I was in a motorcycle accident and broke my femur in four places, which resulted in a leg that is not straight, and shorter.
3. I have walked on this bad and shortened leg for over 32 years.
Something is broken in my body, and weighing 32 pounds more than I want, and walking around for 32 years on a bad leg has brought me to this point in my life.
I want, maybe need to reverse 32 years of my life.
I am not sure what happened, why do I want to overeat? I know that all men are weak, there is always weakness in all men, there is a temptation in all men that he or she cannot overcome. Can I overcome this problem, that is leading to more than needed pain.
I am carrying around on my body a 32 pound weight that helps push down on my hip bone or back and caused me great pain.
Is this a need or a want, and how does one create enough passion to motivate myself to lose this 32 pounds, how do I become committed?
I need to get on a plane to India for 20 hours, all in all the trip from my home to Goa will take at least 30 plus hours. The thought of sitting in a plane seat for over 12 hours at a stint is rather daunting.
Sun, 2 Oct 2011 15:50:22
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