Why am I Jealous of The People Who Inspire Hope

"And they say,
You don't tug on superman's cape,
You don't spit into the wind,
You don't pull the mask of the ol' lone ranger,
And you don't mess around with Jim.
- Song by Jim Croce

People who make people smile piss me off, and the really good talkers, those people who help people to have hope drive me crazy. I do not want to be like them, I want them to shut up so everyone would listen to me.

This is Anthony Robbins, when he talks, people listens, I just do not get it, why does everyone listen to him. I am jealous, and he is also taller than me, this just is not fair.

OK, I am white guy, I thought I was supposed to have all these unrighteous advantages, but Barak makes me look stupid. My only advantage over him is I think his wife is fat, and he seems to shoot the Basketball funny.

When he talks, people listen, and even the angry listeners are engaged.

The guy has a big nose, and has gone crazy with that Scientology stuff, but I am sure there 1000's of young men watch him in the movie Top Gun and dreamed some dreams to big for the room.

I am certifiable jealous.

Superman, don't tug on Superman's cape, it just is not worth the hassle --- I accept I will never fly, but I still want too, I just cannot stop wanting to fly.

I am a man, but all my life I have been trying to escape the "Terrible Twos."

I want to say "No" to any and all universal truths of Jesus Christ, a man, a God who name means hope. And when my friends are angry at Christ, they start talking about Buddha, proving his existence by contrast.

My Life has Been Defined by the Terrible Twos

What is the terrible twos: This is when a big baby, a child around the age of two, toddlers often start saying no and throwing temper tantrums.

This is when a baby stops being part of mom, and start to be a "Me." This is when the baby starts to declare independence from mom, and the first rule of independence is to learn to say,
"No."

"Do you want to eat?"
"No."
"Do you me to leave you alone?"
"No."

We are in the Terrible Two Generation, everyone disagrees,
they say No --- Butt!

"Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working."
- Anonymous Quote

My friend Sean Keener, the owner of Bootsnall.com when I talk to him on Skype says,
"Andy, you are living the dream."

The truth is, I do not want to hear this, I have no idea what that means, but his intention are good, and I say thank you.

Now, I hate to do this also, to again talk about me, but for the readers who do not know me would be lost right now. I am Andy Graham, I have perpetually traveled now for 13 years, 10 months and lived in 90 countries. I am presently on the Caribbean Island of the Dominican Republic, in the city of Sosua. I go an lay on the beach daily, and read my 75 pages in a Robert Ludlum book, to say the least,
"Life is Good."

I am not living a dream, my life is for the lazy man, I did nothing, I just stopped doing what I was doing because it was too much work. Living in the USA was too much work. I got a taste of this live abroad lifestyle on vacaiton in Acapulco. I went home and quit, I gave up on playing the game in the USA and took off, it is not a dream, it is for lazy people, it is a do nothing to have accomplishment.

When Sean says,
"Andy, you are living the dream."
(He is referring to me living the romanticized life of a traveler.)
I want to say,
"No."

It has to be the curse of the terrible twos, I am still trying to say no to anyone who would controls my life, define me, or talk for me, why is Sean labeling me. I know this is nuts, he is not trying to label me, his intentions are good.

I have said, I say, and I will continue to say on this web site,
"Plan your escape."

And, what am I escaping, probably more correct to say, I am running away from life, or running toward a dream. and I do want to stop saying no, but I continue to say no, and go further, I go elsewhere.

Who said this, and why do the words haunt me?

"Neither shalt thou covet thy neighbour's house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ass, or any thing that is thy neighbour's.

Christmas is coming in a few days, maybe I am more introspective than normal. God said that above, and truly it rings in my ears daily, it is from a set of rules, number 10, and of course, I am living the curse of the terrible two's, I want to say no.

I am am supposed to accept this rule:
"Do not be jealous, do not be envious."

My job is not to live the dream, it is to share the dream. How to give, and how to share, and how to help people to have hope, and even that I do badly, I am jealous off all those people above who make people dream big.

Well, another year will pass soon, on January 1, HoboTraveler.com will be 13 years old, I am a lucky man. I have spent 13 years trying to share with reader the world as I see it, no more, no less, a kind of reality travelogue.

When I think of travel writers, I am not jealous, I cringe instead, and maybe it is because I believe this,
"Whatever I give, I get back twice in return."

I think 99 percent of travel writers lie, and if a travel writer writes crap, I would hope they would get back crap, however this is the paradox, the normal one writes lies which people believe, while the truth about living abroad is almost unbelievable.

If I give good and unselfish help, somehow, not from the same person, but someone with more than me will help me when I need it. Now, if maybe we can say it this way,
"What comes around, goes around."

What I give out --- It will come back,
If I give good Ju Ju, I will receive good Ju Ju back.

I refuse to sabotage my happiness, everything that is on HoboTraveler.com I believe in, because what I give, I will get back in return. To write lies would be to endanger the site that has allowed me to live anywhere, and everyone, to live the dream as Sean Keener says.

Think about this quote:

"Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working."

Why, it is because of hope, and I am jealous of the men above, because they know how to share hope 100 times better than me. In a way, what I see my job as sharing the world with all my friends and family by writing. The world is truly a great place, anyone can travel the world the same as me, or live on a Caribbean Island.

I try to share something easy, any common person can live abroad it is easier to do than living inside the USA. I do badly at sharing easy to attain dreams, and this sucks.

I would be great to share "Hope," wow, I could get back a lot in return.  I think of all my friends in the USA fighting to survive, too little money, and too much debt. Or, that single man or woman who collects 700 USD per month in Social Security, age 65, and in a rather hopeless situation.

I try to say, "You can live for 500 USD per month in Paradise, like a king."

And, this is maybe why I am jealous of the great inspirational speaker, writers, and people of the world. The goal of sharing is not to dream, but to share a dream that is possible. Hmm, many people believe a dream is a dream, some fantasy life. I do not live a fantasy life, my life is simply, to live than in the USA is work, to live here is to escape work, to tell the machine to take a hike.

Life is easy inside the USA, the I do not want to listen to Americans telling me to compete in a no-win game of social status, to envy and be jealous.

One reason I will probably never live in the USA is simplicity, the USA is an incredible simple place to live, everything I need is close. However, the culture focuses on complications, it feels to me as if the more chaos my USA friend have, the more busy they are, the more pride they have in their life.

I do not want to be surrounded by people who strive to complicate their lives, and that to me is the USA culture.

I cannot understand their dream, I am lost, why do they say,
"I have too much to do."

I would be ashamed to say this, I tend to interpret this to mean,
"I am such a goof, I am 50 years old, and I still cannot enjoy the day because I have too much to do."

Kids are supposed to be confused, not adults.

So, I am part of the Terrible Two Generation, one of the people who has said No, and escaped to live abroad.

Life is good, and one day, I will learn how to share my dreams... just a little better than yesterday.

Andy Graham in Sosua, Dominican Republic
Merry Christmas 2011

Now, do not say no, but say yes and listen to dream song by Jim Croce.

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 01:04:21

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