Number 1 Secret To Happiness, My 2nd Understanding - Happiness
In life, there is the reason, then there is the real reason. I have for years said, the secret to happiness is to do more things in a day, that make us happy, then things that make us sad. That is the over simplified explanation, I now know the 2nd problem is people.
Number 1 Secret To Happiness, My 2nd Understanding
In life, there is the reason, then there is the real reason. I have for years said, the secret to happiness is to do more things in a day, that make us happy, then things that make us sad. That is the over simplified explanation, I now know the 2nd problem is people.
I must always put more emphasis on finding happy people.
I was on house arrest, sober for less than one year, and driving a moped in a snowstorm in Fort Wayne, Indiana. This is what you do, when they take your license away for 10 years, you drive mopeds in the middle of snowstorms, you are despised by the world, even the folks who say they are helping you to stop drinking are nasty to you.
It was a bad day, a good day to kill myself, I was losing the battle; there was no reason to live. There is a counterbalanced scale in life, the reasons to live, against the reasons to die. Many super old people understand, one day they say, it is time to stop.
Around 9 am, I got on my moped, put on my goggles, wrapped two scarves around my neck, and I did have some nice snowmobile gloves. If I had any money, I would have a snowmobile suit, but when you have no money, you do something different.
I drove to a halfway house, and walked in…
An asshole said a fucked up insult,
S.O.P. Standard Operating Procedure from normal people, when you are driving a moped in a snowstorm. Anyone who sees themselves as more fortunate than you, makes you know.
“Andy, you are less than me.”
And, the truth is, anyone has higher social status than a person driving a moped in a snowstorm.
Then the asshole said,
“Andy, the secret of happiness is to do more things in a day that make you happy, then make you sad.”
The 2nd time in my life an asshole changed my life.
The first time…
An asshole told me,
“Andy, when you are around sad people, you become sad with them. The goal is when a person is sad, you bring them up, or you walk away. If you are sad, you find people who are happy, and become happy.”
I did not like that asshole, but he was right.
Add 1st Asshole wisdom, with 2nd Asshole Wisdom
The secret of happiness is to hang around with more happy people in a day, then unhappy people. Life is about the people we hang around with, we become the friends we keep. Assholes are great, they will tell you the truth, while friends often avoid the truth, friends patronize, enable, avoid helping.
Don’t treat unhappy people idly, they are dangerous. Take them seriously, listen to the tone of their voice, the way they talk, make a decision, make your move, move away.
“Does this person want me to be a better person?”
Or are they trying to prove they are better than me?
We are either sharing this world equally, or we must walk away, and find happy friends who want a better world.
The secret of happiness is to do more things in a day that make us happy, then things that make us sad. Taking great care to choose the friends that make our world better, and avoid the friends who want to say the world sucks.
Walk up to you friends, and ask,
“Please say life is good.”
If they cannot, then hope is only one bad day, or make a choice to have a happy life, and walk away. Bring them up, help them to be happy, or go find happier people. It is all quite simple in the end, if you do not see happiness, then walk the other way.
I write to myself, so I can become a better man.
Andy Lee Graham
Life is good.
December 26, 2021
Sun, 26 Dec 2021 07:40:39
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