Loneliness is probably the number one cause of unhappiness, and the solution is marriage.
I was in an alcoholic treatment center 25 years ago in Huntington, Indiana. I was rattling away with the other inmates when in a cavalier way I said,
"Everyone does everything for money."
Dr. Rolf the psychologist countered my statement,
"No Andy, everyone does everything for intimacy."
If you think intimacy is only sex, then you better go to the back of the happiness line --- call your mother, and start over in the quest for happiness, the prime directive of life.
Intimacy is when two people need less words to understand, a look, a glance, body language takes over, words are on the back shelf. One person starts a sentence and the other one finishes it.
My parents will be married for 60 years on May 18, 2012, and they are amazingly intimate. There is no reason to make a choice, I can tell my mother or father something and know that both now know. Age is causing problems, but nonetheless, there is not two people, there marriage made them one.
Happiness, with the hope of contentment is possible when loneliness ends.
Do you make eye contact with the people around you? I see this as the "tell" of a person who can be intimate. A smile is another "tell" of people emotionally capable of having friends. (Poker lingo - HINT)
But, how can you guarantee you will never be lonely?
Well, by getting married, you have a 50-50 chance of removing the loneliness, at least until you get divorced. I suppose loneliness for most people, not me, but most is when they are bored. I think this is why Americans stay busy, why the national mantra is,
"I am too busy."
To be, too busy is a badge of success, it means I they are keeping pace with their companions.
HD said it,
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.
- Henry David Thoreau, Walden
Generally, normal people in the USA keep pace, they are too busy, they obey the culture of the USA and get married, it is the way to happiness.
My advice, take a hostage, get married, achieve poetic justice, and learn how to have an intimate relationship with another person, and hopefully yourself. And, if by chance we ever meet, smile, look me in the eye, and we could be friends.
Give yourself a gift, buy the book Walden by HD, on my Amazon.com page: I have list of books that changed my life.(Epiphanies on demand.) Click Here
Andy Lee Graham, single by accident, not by design.
Andy I do not have adequate words to say what I think about what you just wrote. I am in awe of your ability see the human soul and see the important things in life. I needed to read this blog. I now understand one of the most important things in life. I desperately needed to read what you just put into words.
You formalized and explained to me what I had been searching for. You cut through the nonsense and got right to the bottom line. I could not arrange my thoughts. My mind was just too clouded by nonsensical details to get to the real meaning and the bottom line.
Thank you so so so much for this blog and the help it gave me. It helped me see my life and my path forward.
I am going to print this blog along with some others and when I need help in seeing the real issue and getting down to the bottom line I will read them. My decision making skills and my future happiness depends on me making good, informed, and well thought out decisions. I wish I had your ability to see life and to articulate the important truths.
Bosh ,and flimshaw! Boy are You going in the wrong direction here, nature does not want intimacy it wants reproduction. If one has to be intimate to get there,ok, marriage ,also,ok but nature wants reproduction that is all that matters. Ergo the most important thing ever to life?? Yes, Sex! In My experiences, limited though they are , people that smile and look at You,the "people persons" are the most dishonest,fake ,and most willing to take advantage of others, or just plain old simple minded. I have great friends, I seldom look at them , and I seldom smile unless I am happy, never from being fake.
Nice you do not have a mean spirit. Always seem to be interested in all different types of people and if they do not follow the golden rule it seems to me you just make yourself absent from them and move on to try and meet someone more interesting.