Do you believe it? We can deny it, we we know the Internet in the last 20 years has created an epidemics of lars, a highly skilled generation of liars.
Today, I turn 60 years old, born in October of 1955, and there is no reason to celebrate. Please do not congratulate me, I do not wish to ignore you again today, some days I am just not in the mood to ignore everyone around me.
I am Andy Lee Graham, from Orland, Indiana.
There is only one way to have friends, learn to ignore lies, little ones, big ones, and all the ones in between. It is quite baffling to me, but even when there is no reason to lie, people lie, and what is worst, we eat them, we devour them, the Internet has created a whole generation that does not despise liars, instead there is a competition to see who can lie the best, who can run the biggest deceit over our heads, we applaud liars, and see honest folks as fools.
As for me, the best thing that every happened in my life, was becoming a drunk. I quit drinking 28 years ago, but becoming an alcoholic was great I learned to hate myself so much, that the only relief possible appeared to be a gun in the mouth. When suicide become real, something tangible, the only option, we seek alternatives, we change for the better.
“How did I learn to stay sober?”
"I learned the secret of love."
Love is trust; love is an honest day, one day without a worry in our heads. To stay sober was simple in the end; I needed to love me, Andy Lee Graham. I needed to learn a few simple principles.
Any type of lie is bad; it hurts me, more than it hurts you. Whether a straight out lie, a white lie, or a lie by omission, or just weaving a story that leads you to misinterpret, to misunderstand, whatever the case lying makes me hate myself.
I do not think is the same for you, only 5 percent of people have guilt that makes them change. I believe 95 percent of people are “Jokers,” it does not even cross their mind to not lie, they do not feel guilty, it is natural way of dealing with the world to the jokers.
The "Jokers" only desire is to not be caught, and suffer any consequences.
And herein lies the big problem with the Internet. It is the land of no oversight, there is almost no way to catch the lies, the better the lie, the better the story, And "the better the story," the more money the person makes, the more friends, and the more he or she benefits.
There is no punishment for lies on the Internet, there is only great rewards, it the kingdom of heaven for the liars, it is the land of never-ending rewards, and no punishment.
As for me, I love myself today more than any other human on planet earth. There is nobody I love more; I am the hero of my own life. Wow, what mouthful, but it is the truth, so on my 60 birthday, maybe you can understand, I no longer care about what people do, I do not lie to myself, I am not going to change your life. (Itsy bitsy at best.)
I only care about me... I am am the only person I care to try to change. I have no belief, zero, that I can change you, so to care about you, to believe I can change you is caring, so to try to care, to believe in caring is a lie. I do not care about you, I only have hope, never ending hope.
I care greatly about with never ending love, but it would be a lie to say, I thought, or dreamed, or believed you are one day going to see the light, no, you will continue to learn how to lie better and better, and very few of you will get caught. The odds are in favor of liars, you will not get caught, and for sure the punishment is worth the lie.
And if my nieces and nephew said,
“Uncle Andy, do liars prosper?”
I would say,
“Absolutely, it is the secret to financial and social success.”
And, it the best way for you Uncle Andy to ignore you for the rest of your life, listen, nod my head, and allow you to feed me lies. It is not a lie to say nothing, unless you ask me a direct queston.
Because the only way to have great number of friends in life is to know they are all sinners, they lie, creating never ending high piles of lies. And what does that make them? Normal, that is all, nothing more, nothing less, but what do people want, even the liars, they want honesty.
Yet, when you lie all your life, honest people are annoying, people start to mock them, to treat them as silly, to make them outcast, honest people are not championed in society, they are consider the fools.
Well, today I am a fool in the eyes of man, and the hero to the man in the mirror.
Thank the good Gods, and I sure hope there is one…
Even more, I hope there is a devil, a hell, a big hopper where we can put the mass of people I ignore.
Want to stop lying? Stop talking that is a start.
It is just insane to open your mouth and lie, when you had the option to say nothing.
Thanks for listening,
Andy Lee Graham
Lome, Togo West Africa - Please do not think for a moment that poor people are honest, what makes them fun is they are such bad liars, it is easier to spot, so less energy ignoring them.
I am a person who has written about 8 thousands of these small post. This one is special to me, not to you, but to me. I think turning 60 just gave me a push to increase my level of honesty. Turning 60 was a wake up call, I need to triple the amount of honesty with myself, no delusions, those crackers are night are killing me slowly, not quickly, but slowly.
Psychology and philosophy studies normally ignore the subject of lies, which is the proof that lies are normal, we see them as acceptable.I am not telling you to stop lying, I am trying to convince myself to work harder, to try hard to remove all denials, excuses, ways of avoiding the stark raving crazy world of truth, the place where no sane man can survive.
What is hell? Hell is being forced to face and accept the lies we tell.
“Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
One of the best premises I have ever read, about what is "normal" in "society." I have found exactly the same thing to be true for me, and the older I get, the more truth I see in this tale of the human condition. You are a true "traveling philosopher, Andy.
I appreciate reading your comments and positions and descriptions very, very much. Especially about just "nodding your head," as if you are agreeing with others, and then going your merry way. That's something I am going to start doing myself. Will save me a lot of wasted time and probably make me a whole lot less enemies in the process!
Liars hate the truth and the truth-teller, even if the person speaking the truth doesn't know the others are lying! That's the worse kind of situation to find oneself in!