I can make friends faster, better, truer if I knew when they were lying to me with their eyes, facial expression and overall body language.
Wed, 14 Dec 2011 03:17:29
I invest 90 percent of my day in finding good friends, I am a rich man. I wish the whole world took the time to find friends.
And, I love to talk with "Important People:" World travel enables common people to to meet, talk, discuss, and learn to understand some of the most interesting people on the planet.
I believe this is a photo of Ilana Neumann, the mayor of Sosua, Dominican Republic where I am lying for a couple of month. It is possible she is eating in the same restaurants as me, I will probably meet her one day.
(I would like to have a conversation explaining that Sosua is the Expat murder capital of the planet, and I want to help stop that.)
Consider the lives of important people:
1. Movie Stars
Important people need to travel anonymously for safety.
2. Travel writers can collect information best anonymously.
3. Ambassadors, government workers, spies, CIA and others know information they want to keep secret.
This is the United States Ambassador to the Dominican Republic, his name is Raúl H. Yzaguirre, he is an important person in this country.
(It would be fun to know how my country deals with the DR, I would also want to learn if this guy was born, is native, talks natural English, etc.)
This is Delia, she is one of the most beautiful girls in Sosua.
(I have talked to her, it is a money thing, the conversation ends.)
I prospect for friends 90 percent of the day:
--- a.k.a. "Girls."
Sosua is the worst place on the planet to meet nice girls to marry, but the best place on the planet to rent close to the USA. The champs are Pattaya, Thailand and Angeles City, Philippines.
There is a great benefit to going to boom boom adult communities full of girls seling themselves.
Sosua is one of the "Best places on Earth to meet important men from the Northen Hemisphere" or the USA and make friends.
Your Daily Life
OK, we walk into Starbuck for a coffee, we are standing in line at the unemployment agency. we go to the bank to make a deposit. After work, we meet the softball team for drinks, on Sunday the family gets together for a barbecue.
Sometimes we are bored, we do not feel comfortable, and we walk up to strangers and start up a conversation. We need "Fillers." people in life that fill up the empty time in between things we need to do. Personally, I believe people stay busy, they say, I need to do this or that to avoid admitting, they do not know how to make friends, therefore they avoid people. Then when they meet people, they become angry because the person annoys them. Maybe they smell, maybe they lie, maybe they are just arrogant and cause a headache.
I have time to fill, and want to share time with friends.
1. Friends for coffee in the morning.
2. Friends for the beach.
3. Friends to call, meet, and eat dinner with, or share a common trip, maybe we go to a museum together.
I call this the "Travel Interview."
1. I look at them, clothing, tattoos, hair, demeanor, I study their body language and appearance.
2. I look for an opening, a way to gently and safely start up a conversation.
3. I pitch, I make my opening line and see if I can hook them into talking.
All people lie --- All three people will lie to me above, when I meet them.
They will give me little half-truths, they will redirect me, slide, glide, and try to steer the conversation.
However, I can make friends with about any person on the planet quickly, efficiently, and almost effortlessly if I listen to the body language.
Listen to body language.
Listen to their eyes.
Listen to how they say things.
Watch where they look, how they carry themselves.
My Mother Lies to Me, My Father Lies to Me, All People Lie
I want good friends, authentic, real and trusted people around me, this is difficult, I know that everyone around me lies three times for every 10 minutes of conversations. And, that is probably my best friends, I estimate that travel friend in the travel conversation lie 80 percent.
There is almost nothing travelers tell me that is the truth, I have trouble getting their name out of them.
Why? It is fear, they do not want to have problems, so for safety reasons they lie.
How to make them safe is the goal?
First we need to know when they are lying, so we can attempt, allow them to feel safe...?
Here is an excellent link explaining eyes:
Eye Body Language
Paul Ekman is a leading expert on Facial Expressions:
Do we really care about people?
I believe only 1 in 100 people is emotionally capable of having friends worth calling friends. Therefore, I must interview 100 people to find one friend. If I am good, I can skip 85, and go right for the best, I can spot the 15 who are good prospects for friends. Then 1 in 15 of them could be my friend.
Popularity is not the same as a friend, finding a girl is not a friend. I do believe that all people do everything in the quest to find a true, intimate, real, and rewarding friend.
My advice, listen, watch, and try to first know when the person is lying with either body language, facial expression or just pure lies.
Like I say, I am surrounded by people lying, my goal is to allow them to feel safe so they stop, and not pass judgment.
Do you lie?