I promise as of today, April 30, 2013, that I, me, Andy Lee Graham, will, to the best of my ability, be a softer, kinder, gentler Andy, so help me God.
I have spent 57 years of my life trying to learn how to stop hurting people.
In the wee hours of the morning here in Kara, Togo, West Africa, with grace and thanks to the Internet, I watched a YouTube.com video. This video connected the dots, and I pray this is the end of an Andy who is full of rage, wanting revenge, and the beginning of an Andy who is capable of giving love to the world.
No, I do not just pray: I promise that today I will do everything in my human power to ensure that you are never harmed by the use of my words. It is now 4:04 a.m., and I am truly sorry to many readers, friends and family members. It is time we work together, and it is time for Andy Lee Graham to stop being a raging bull, ready to whip you down with words, provoke you, and then smack you. It has been unfair of me.
Again, am sorry. I will change.
I am positive my brain does not work quite right; there is something, which I do not understand, that is wrong with it – or right, according to where you stand. I can be grateful and yet very angry with myself, or, in other words, I am sad to have lost so many good friends along the way because of my brain.
Though it is my brain, I am responsible just the same.
I have known this for 25 years, and … damn it! I cannot remember, I think it is 26 years … well, something like 25-27 years ago, I quit drinking alcohol, which was another huge problem in my life. At that time, I realized I was angry at the world, but just knowing that did not mean I was able to stop. Today I think I can stop and let go of the club in my hand.
Whatever the case, what I am apologizing for today is that when well-intended people tried to give me good advice, I took it as an insult, an attack, and I lashed out and tried to destroy them, to make them know, “You are the stupid one, not me!”
I apologize for giving you back 10 times more correction than you gave me; it was unfair and unjust.
So, what happened today?
Well, I go off on these tangents. I mean, my mind truly wanders around somewhere out in the world. Today, I got onto a couple of YouTube.com videos about "political correctness,” which to me is personal. I believe I am incapable of saying things correctly. People correct me on a never-ending basis, which is just part of a normal day for me – everyone is correcting me.
Well, I watched a couple of videos on YouTube.com about political correctness, trying to understand what to me is contempt for other humans. People have the inalienable right to say just about anything they want to say – freedom of speech, if you will – if they do it in polite way, with a pleasant voice, and not trying to hurt anyone, including you or me.
I think I watched this video first, but I can’t remember the order. It is always a mystery to me how I think. ...
Then, maybe this one is next best to show you. (I watched a few too many ... but maybe just enough in the safety of my room, alone):
Then, because I related to that video, I searched for this one:
And, because I am still an man of great aspirations, I found this:
Yet, this is the game changer video for me:
And, in the words of Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple Computer, "If the truth be told, I never graduated from college." I, Andy Lee Graham, never graduated. I just could not seem to connect all the dots and get the job done.
I posted the text and videos above because I was inspired to solve my personal problems, but our shared lesson is that we should work together to make the world a safe place to be different, to live with respect for each other's differences.
OK, let us get on with having a great day. Life is good here, there and everywhere, providing that we all share the rice.
Thank you for being patient with me!
I truly do not know what is wrong with my brain, but I am 100 percent sure I have something similar to dyslexia. But that is not important. The solution matters more, which is for me have patience with people when they do not understand me. There is no right or wrong – it is just life – and we are not all the same animal.
Note: Please, do not take this as an invitation to insult me. We will work together on this site to make sure that clever insults are abolished. You can still get banned from making inappropriate comments because this is a community of friends.
I believe with the help of Elance.com and some good people, we have found a way to proofread and polish up many annoying problems on the site. I am not apologizing for bad grammar, yet I do understand it annoys people. But the world is one, big two-lane highway that I dream we can share with tolerance and patience.
Many a perfect thought came from a highly imperfect person, and wisdom is painful to learn – but it is worth the journey.
Andy Lee Graham
Kara, Togo, West Africa
April 30, 2013
Auberge Beau Sejour
"Le Vie Est Belle."