I am learning to accept that I live outside the USA, and that is ok, my desire to return to the USA and live is ending. My commitment to live traveling is increasing, I enjoy this life, it has many bumps, and overall, I am a lucky man.
What has happened is this, I continually learn ways to avoid the unhappy groups of people on the planet, and how to enjoy the simple living their lives, enjoying their lives groups. I stopped watching CNN, BBC and any other news channel, more or less just read some headlines on this World New Page.
Moving on past old resentments, frustrations is difficult, however learning to keep my mouth shut has helped. I tend to just avoid people who do not smile, recognize controversial comments, and try not to reply, I am still working on this, but I am ten times better than I was ten years ago when I started traveling. There is something about humans that like a soap opera, they like controversy, we like to argue. The search for the truth is not the goal, people seem to search for validations of the opinions they already have, not to find the truth, and this causes arguments.
This concept, or statement, “The truth will set your free,” This is true, free from arguments if both people are searching for truth.
There are truths in the world; I have continued to find universal truths that guide my day, for example. “Talk to people that smile.” “Walking helps me to understand the world I live in better than reading.” “People like honest people.” “The less I do, the happier I am.” “Poor people are happier than Rich people.”
I sometime feel like I have been going though the Five Stage of Grief, and have reached an acceptance, “It is ok to travel for the rest of my life.”
Typing into this blog is both fun and a pain in the butt, there are some rewards, however overall, the biggest reward has been to talk to myself and reconcile, recognize, and realize who I am and what I am doing. There is this fantasy about travel, that is hogwash, travel is not glamorous, unless maybe you are a multi-millionaire, then you can afford to live in luxury. There is no fame to travel, I try not to not meet, and do not meet people who respect me because of this blog, or my web sites, the people I meet take me as the meet me, I am no more, or no less than just a person in the same Hotel, or on the same Bus.
I am equal with the world, I try to live as the same status and social level as the common people, and this is relaxing. I never thought about how competitive the USA is or the world in general, until I stepped outside my culture. Competition for status is the root of evil in a way; it is the coveting of what other have, to wish we were better than the people around us, this is a sin.
To stop this competition is an onerous task; I had to leave my culture long enough whereby I forgot to fight back. When I meet USA or Europeans I am tempted to enter into their mess, I am good at competing, and I can win, however the loser is both of the people competing. I am winning more now, because I do not enter into the competition as often, I still slip.
Now I compete with myself, this is my happiness today; I have been striving to make a great backpack to share with the world, to try to really do something special, something that really makes good sense.
I also strive to make a Travel Room or Hotel site that helps the hotel and the people who want to live in the hotels. I am making a site that helps me to find a room, truly a transparent and up-front internet page that allows people to find the answers they seek with the least amount of interference, it is not about money, however that is nice, it is the reward of doing a good thing that is needed.
I know I have family that love me, I have many friends, I have people who respect me, I have people who hate me, life is normal.
The world is a safe place, this is good, a little boring at time, too many cell phones and cars, however better than too many guns and dictators, the world is obsessed with fashions and their soap opera lives.
I sometime feel like Howard Hunt, as he tried to isolate himself from people, I do feel a need to leave the world, to stay away from others, and I do feel like a hermit some of the days. I enjoy simple people, I am learning to accept that competition is not a great thing, unless it the competition I have in myself to care more, to feel more, to strive to do the best I can, to be the best person I can be today.
I am like an onion, I keep tearing away the layers, there were layers of things I needed to be happy, I find the more the layers are removed, the less I need to be happy. In the past, I protected myself by a façade of possessions and accomplishments. I realize this is fools gold, there is nobody that cares, the only person I need to keep happy today is me, the rest of the world has their job to perform, doing what they believe they should do to be happy.
I do hope they are not too busy today, I am not, note if you read all of this and got to the end, you are probably able to enjoy the time given to you, to live your life, it is finite, and we do die.