Arranged Marriage

2007-02-04 16:30:00

Arranged Marriage
Pokhara Nepal Asia
February 5, 2007

Hindu people as I understand sometimes have arranged marriages, not always, but sometimes. They say or are separating the types here, one is a love marriage and other is arranged.

A group of three Nepali women was having a big chat session in the hotel yesterday; I was joking and asking the man owner if they were all his wife. I sat around and joked for a while, they did the interview, are you married, what do you do for work, etc. The one proceeded to pointedly ask, do you want to get married to Nepali girl? Now, not polite to just say no, hard to answer so they understand, so I tried to say,
- Yes, if I loved here and wanted to marry her. -

This is the same answer for any country in a way, however the woman said, something that she has a sister with a 23-year-old daughter and she will return the next day with her at 5:00 PM to meet me.

I cannot believe it, she came at 4:30, early, and they can actually be on time for something here.

So tomorrow was or is now last night or yesterday.

They sat me down, interviewed me again, I unfortunately passed with flying colors. She now has asked me, both the younger girl and the older woman to think about it, do I want to marry the girl?

I met this girl with three other women, she speaks ok, rather bleak English, however she is nice, pretty, polite and so on and so forth, and likes to laugh.

Now today, I think I am supposed to give an answer yes or no. For me the answer is no, I am not going to marry anyone that was arranged for me, the arrangement for an introduction was ok, but I truly did not believe they was going to ask the same day.

It is interesting how the younger girl respects the advice of the older woman; the older woman has given me the USDA seal of approval, as has all the women hanging around in this household.

I learned that two of her cousins have married foreigners, this seems to be a trend, if you find a family where one has married a foreigner then the other girls are primed.

I have also noticed that women who color their hair from black to reddish are extra friendly.

I think I am involved in a one-side arranged marriage, I am glad my mother has not met this girl, or I would be in a pressure cooker, as the girl is nice.

I do not know why they are not keying in the two young men here, yes, I think they are irresponsible boys, but they maybe have the correct passports. I have a USA passport; this often is too good of passport for families. The woman said, she wanted an American or Canadian, or German.

Strange as it sounds this is probably a great opportunity for some man older than 30 who wishes to get married. Quick, easy, and more or less permanent as I understand Hindus women only get married one time, you would have to bring the girl back one time a year to enforce this idea. I do believe marriages work when both sides agree it should work.

They or she the girl I could marry is Brahmin Caste, I think the word should be Brahmin Ethnic group or Brahmin Tribe, the word caste is too strong. The language of the Brahmin Caste is different from the Sherpa Caste; to me this is more tribal. Tribes often many not intermarry and will be very judgmental, one being lower or higher.

I am USA upper caste in a way or could be thought of in a way of thinking.

I am wondering how I got myself into this situation, I think it was simple, I said hello to all the workers and people in the Hotel. All the other residents of the hotel more or less ignore the staff and persons working, only making request. I am thinking the world needs to take treks to meet people, and not mountains. However, to meet a mountain is safe and free from commitments. I have made a commitment to be these people friend. People in Hotels are people, I know they tend to act like animals, only wanting money, but they are people, and not authority figures.

I will think carefully and try to understand or explain why I cannot marry the woman. It is rather easy, I just tell the truth, my culture does not marry this quick, I would need to know her, and I leave in 4 days, honesty is 99 percent of the time the best answers.

If a group of men come up and ask you if a girl is pretty, I think maybe best to say yes, even if dog ugly.

Arranged Marriage

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