Women Workers in Benin Natitingou Benin West Africa Wednesday, September 27, 2006
I started out trying to ask a difficult question, I am trying to understand the man-women relationships in Benin or West Africa. Sophi is the manager girl in the Auberge USA here in Natitingou Benin. (I discovered the name of the Cannery Row Hotel here in Natitingou Benin.) She speak good to great English for a Benin person, plus, she works in a nefarious Auberge or Hotel, thus I thought perfect time to broach on a complicated relationship problem in Africa.
I wanted to know why the girls in most of the hotels in West Africa maybe seem possible to sleep with for money. If there are women working in the hotel, they are often one-step from, or they seem available to purchase. It is not that easy, but they sit around drinking with the patrons or clients of the hotel all night, I do not stick around, I normally go to bed, therefore I miss the final play. However, it does appear that all of these women are being chatted up by the men more or less.
Sophi explained, not the answer I was looking for, but an answer that is better and more intriguing. She explained that if a man works in a Hotel, the management has many problems. I think she is saying in any places where they serve alcohol or drinks, the workers can or should be women. The reasons is many folded and torn pages of information if you cut the pages and rip them up, it is convoluted.
Women or a worker of average type, I now know the wages of a Secretary in Bohicon, and one girl that works in a Hotel in Benin. The wagers seem to be right around 5000 to 7000 per week, or 20,000 to 28,000 CFA per month. This translates to dollars to about let say two US Dollars per day, and one dollar more than the poverty level, as I understand the United Nations figures for the world.
Women, seem to manage the money, the men, may or may not help with this function. The women are probably in charge of feeding the children and buying the food.
The situation comes down to how a woman convinces a man to share his money or give her money. If she does not work at a job, then this becomes a bargaining or negotiation problem for the woman.
Sophi was answering a different question, she was saying to me, if a man works in a bar, and a women comes in, he will give all the money to the girl, buy her drinks, and try to impress her. He will give the hotel money or the money of the bar, to the women. If a man walks into a bar, and a girl is working, then the man will give all his money to the girl, therefore, the other way around, and the bad or hotel does not lose the profit or money.
The relationship between a West Africa women and a West African man is generally and maybe 90 percent related or in association to money. A woman is trying to convince the man to spend money or give her money.
This is where I pop in, I feel, sense, that every women I am near that works in a Hotel is working me to try to convince me to give her money. There are nightclubs or night bars all over the planet like this, it is an extremely normal type of bar. A man in South America, Asia walks into a bar, there are girls working in the bar, one girl finds a way, or the man calls her over. She starts to induce the man to buy her drinks; maybe she gets a percentage of the money. She is promoting the bar, herself, and getting the man to spend money. It is like a strip club in the USA, they prod the man into giving cash, by flirting and waving themselves.
I am immune, almost zero affected by women wanting money. I have made a joke for years, saying, - It is against company policy to buy girls drinks in bars. -
I do not purchase drinks for girls in bars, never have, and probably never will. I will buy a girl or a friend that is a girl drinks. I will buy a date, or a girlfriend drinks. However, to purchase drinks for some unknown women under the idea that if I buy drinks for her, she will like me, or be friendly with me; maybe become my girlfriend does not happen with me. I am immune to this system; however, most of my friends, most men, generally are not, they can easily be convinced to buy drinks for women in bars.
MANY REASONS 1. Impress the girl that they make a lot of money and can support and would make a good lover and husband. 2. A trade in advance, I buy you drinks, you come home with me and sleep with me. 3. Buy affection, the girl will continue to talk, continue to be friendly, and pretend to be his girlfriend inside the bar.
Number three, is a very strange, however, extremely profitable business for a bar. If they have girls working in the bar, the men will spend money to impress the waitress or bar tender girl. I once told a new owner of a bar, get this girl Kindred to work for you; she will bring in all the many men in the city of Fort Wayne, Indiana. She has a following of men that worship her and follow her. It is not just that, it is pleasant to buy drinks or hangout in a place where the bartender is great.
Step it up and the man sits with the bartender girl, buys her drinks, she drinks, he drinks, he fantasizes about her, maybe it is possible, maybe it is not.
AFRICA Sophi is maybe the third of fourth women that has said, - You must give money to women. -
I want to know, why I feel these women want money. She is not saying, they want money, she is saying, you must give them money. She tries to make me feel guilty, how can you talk to me, how can you not give me money. She like any of them wants me to give money, buy drinks, order beer, or whatnot and in a way, give her the keys to the bank. I do not drink; I do not just get overly generous with money. I also 95 percent do not believe you can buy a friend. I am believing and do believe that in about 60 percent of the world countries, if you pay large, give a lot of money; you can buy a wife, or girlfriend. You do not have to be handsome, just have enough money, prove you can support the girl, the children, and you got a women.
Women control most of the money on the planet, they are the only ones that will work, the men are lazy, drink too much, and abuse the women. The women do the work, the men sit around watching. Acting like the boss, the problem for the women is the men will beat them, or hurt them, and as soon as there is any money accumulated, the man will take and spend, often on other women. What happens because of this is women spend their time hoarding the money, maneuvering the man.
MAN MANEUVERING A man really in about 80 percent of the cases thinks only with his penis. It is terrible to believe, hard to encompass, but men are controlled by their lust or desire for women. The give up money for love or knowing the women will withdraw love if he does not give money.
Stupidly if a man in these countries has money, he can have many women with no problem. He then will have many wives, or many girlfriends, the only reason to have a wife is to wash his clothes, and have a bunch of babies to prove he is a man.
MEN NEED BABIES Men appear, especially in the black cultures of the planet, want to prove they are a man. The more babies they sire, the bigger the man they are in the community. The more women they support, the richer they are or bigger man in the community.
It is like the man with the huge car, sports car, the big house, going to the country club, buying or supporting many items. He is in a way bragging or showing to the world, look at me, I am special. Ok, go into cultures where there is not enough money to do this, and the men, here in Africa will have more babies, or more women. Babies happen, the caring to stop the babies is not what men care about normally, and they want to have an entourage of women.
Herd of women, group of women, I suppose I need to go rummage around in the dictionary and encyclopedia for the word. I do not know it is like a bull ape or something, having a troop or groups of females under him. He cares for the women, and protects, therefore they are loyal. A king has loyal subjects, it is a reciprocal relationship, I take care of you, and you take care of me.
This relationship is confusing to the modern male man, he learns, understands, and manipulates this type of relationship quickly in other countries. He learns, I have money, I am popular. I have always been fortunate, women like me, no money involved, no need to sweeten the pot.
Sophi is mad at me, I am now paying 4000 CFA for a room, she says to me, look the man paid the 5000 CFA, no problem, he takes the girl to the room and they sleep. I say, he must, it is necessary he prove to the girl he has money. I do not care to prove to you I have money. She is trying hard to socialize me, convince me, - You much give money to women. -
It is the way; it is the culture, you a man, give money to women. I was going to be married about 12 years ago, the last words out of the woman’s mouth before we stopped was, - I cannot marry you, I cannot control you. -
I remember, in the story Canterbury Tales, I studied in college, the Wife of Bath says, - All women want is sovereignty over men. -
1387 this was more or less written, Canterbury Tales, and relationships were about the same. Men trying to domineer over women and women trying to domineer over men. Not sharing, a situation of who is boss, you or me. In Africa, the person with money is boss; however, the man can beat the money out of the woman and take the money. This is true in about 80 percent of the planet, and this is why maybe the HDI, Human Development Index weighs woman rights more than real development of infrastructure. Relationships between men and women is the proper scale of development in a way, then maybe put respect between two men and women, and manners. A highly developed culture respects the life of people; you can see it in the traffic lights, the respect for pedestrians of developed countries. I am a target here, in Belgium, I put my foot on the road, and all the cars stop.
Women in Africa receive money after being nice to men.
Men give money so women will be nice to them.
Foreigners or Expats learn this, they have more money than the locals do, and therefore they are the most popular person with the women. I have a USA passport, the number one passport of choice. I am always popular in the normal 80 percent of the planet. Europe, Australia, USA, England no, but the normal cheap countries yes.
I do enjoy living in the normal cheap countries; I earn money in the expensive countries and spend it in the cheaper. The amount of value I receive is great. Not in Africa for food, transportation yes, hotels about a half, Asia and South America had much better value for the hotels. Travelling in cheap 80 percent of the planet is like being a rich man, or woman. This is power, or control over destiny. Sadly, though power is abused by people in about 90 percent of the cases, I am just happy to have a lot of money in a poor country. To take advantage of the situation is abuse, sad, strange and foreign to me. I do not enjoy having power or fame, or being too popular. The blog is a problem for me, how to use it to earn money, yet not spoil my enjoyment of life. I have zero desire to be Tom Cruise, or Mel Gibson. I do not want any fame that makes walking down the street a problem. I do not want people coming up to me and saying hello. I do not buy drinks for women in bars so they say hello.
Maslow’s brilliant hierarchy of motivations say or points to process three and four. 3. love and feelings of belonging 4. competence, prestige, and esteem
Therefore, men and women are caught in this circle of never ending attempt to circumvent or shortcut to these motivations. It is a lot easier to try to buy love or prestige, then to really do something to have good self-esteem. Working to impress yourself is not what they do; they work to impress others, and in the end, fail to make themselves their own hero.
QUOTE; - The most stable and therefore most healthy self-esteem is based on deserved respect from others rather than on external forms or celebrity and unwarranted adulation. -
Abraham Maslow (1908 - 1970) U.S. psychologist.
Africa is probably a little more direct, maybe honest, everything is money, give me money. If they can get the money for no work, then they truly are powerful. The better the deal they make, the smarter they are, to convince the rich countries to give money for nothing is the ultimate achievement of women or man of West Africa and maybe Africa. I am clever; I got money for not working. I often hear this from low class or people not willing to work for money, they want to win the lottery and skip the work part.
Sad, anything in this situation is for sale, I tried to say to Sophi, this is not good. I can talk with this man women, say I am from the USA, convince her I will give here double or triple the money as a gift, marry her, take her to America and he has no women. This is not fair, he has no chance, and the playing field is not level. I think this is terrible way to live, where I can have anything if I pay.
The good part about women is they are now going to University, they are getting the best jobs, and they will soon run the planet. Power in the end is control of information, and no amount of brawn can control information, it takes brains and work. Women have been doing the work for centuries, now they apply it to the power of the mind and information and the roles will change.