My former friend came over today again at 11:00, she said she was coming at 12:00, however she was all excited. She says she leave today for Cotonou, Benin, I finally figured out what the word Coneton means, I was lucky and had my computer close. I original told here I was going north, and I thought she wanted to see cotton.
She was in the door less than 5 minutes and already was saying Cinq Mille of 5 Thousand Francs, she wanted 5 thousand Francs or CFA, this is about 10 U.S. Dollars.
I opened the door and said, - Au revoir - or Goodbye, and pointed out the door, she slowly walked out the door, and I am free from stupid entanglements. She was fun sort of observing and listening too, in a childlike I want manner.
I have learned too many times, when a person starts to ask for money, get them out of your life as quick as possible. Fortunately, the normally in Africa are not clever, and asks for money in the first five minutes. She waited two day, and one meal, and attempts to have me buy her gifts before she went for the money.
Semi-Pro is my definition of groupie type girls who try to ply things from males by way of being nice. Ivory Coast, Ghana, and now Togo, and for sure Niger, on the prowl, looking always for the easy money. I sometimes enjoy and I do not think they believe how easy it for me to say NON or NO.
I do not give an explanation, I do not lead into a sentence, I do not continue to talk, I stop, I knew a long time ago, a discussion stops when one of the persons stops talking.
I see many travelers sit and talk for 10 minutes, believing they were clever on how they dealt with a person. I think, they desire to punish the person asking for money, I just wish to separate and close the door, get emotionally onto the next subject in my brain.
The Peace Corp man from Chicago said there were many levels of prostitution in Africa, many shade, this is the semi-pro version to me, and a prostitute extracts money by making you feel good. It has little to do with S E X and a lot to do for most FAT men, or for sure the overwhelming number of ugly smoking French one here, just to pay attention by a pretty girl, and in their case, fat and cross eyed, there is one cross-eyed that may be working the area.
The Peace Corp man said, a girl working in a bar would be from another country. I instantly thought, this girl is from Benin… hmmm.
Then he explained how a local woman does not want to be known as a prostitute of something like that, and the local men want something different. I think it is much more simple than that, however not important.
Friendships in travel should and can be made quickly, the commitment to friendship should be fair, clear, and open, no strings. However, there are boundaries a person needs to learn, and when they are cross, especially in the grace of a new friendship, then au revoir, or good-bye. Final, ending and no looking back, not point in compromise, a good friendship is easy to maintain, a bad one is always a mess, complicated and taking in nature.
I am fortunate in West Africa, I have met some nice persons, most are not blogged about, try to not talk about the genuinely nice. Nevertheless, how to say no is the art of saying yes, and finding friends. The less time you deal with the persons that are not your friend, the more time available to find friends.