Leaving The Boat
The need for respect.
I need to respect myself and I want respect person in my life.
I want to respect, honor, and believe the persons in my life do their best and wish to be good persons, helping the world to be a better place.
I do not want to focus on negative feeling, the more negatives in my day, the more days of being negative, the more days I am forced to focus on negative situations, the more likely I am to become a negative person.
Everyday I wake up thinking about all the problems of the boat, I do not wake up excited to go sail on this boat, I do not dream of sailing on this boat, sharing the sunset with the others, spending my time learning navigation and ocean sailing. I already know how to sail, I had a large 24-foot boat I could sleep on in Indiana and was in a Yacht club for 3-4 years.
I was laughing to myself, they could drive you crazy showing you or telling you information about how to sail, making the perfect boat, how to be the perfect sailor, or how to have the perfect boat. It was about perfection, doing something so well, that they would drive me crazy, however this was nice, I always wanted to make my small boat like their boat.
On the other hand, when discussing the idea with Craig about
Craig has abilities with the computer, with humans that I wish daily to learn about, there is a world of knowledge in that 25-year-old person that clearly evaluates and understands the world. I wish to be like him in many ways.
I said or talked with Craig about the idea or concept that a person can learn a lot from a situation where there are many problems. I was reading a post by a reader and something to this effect I was reading, how it is an opportunity to learn. Craig said that I said something the same, like I somehow was saying, and I do not think I was saying anything close to this, I was being negative.
He equated when I was talking about all the good points of boat, pointing how the aspects or features of the perfect boat for me, that I was learning from the Odessa. Maybe I was turning a negative into a positive, however I have already sat in a dock full of boat for four years on every Saturday and Sunday looking at the other boats and dreaming of the perfect boat. Listening to some very studious persons explain about boat, this is a bigger game, however, the same.
A person does learn from solving problems, however I enjoy learning from perfect, I can solve or fix about any problem. I cannot change or fix people; they have to do that themselves.
Overall, I am getting off the boat so I do not have the temptation to explain daily the problems of the boat, how I must accept that they are problems, how I cannot fix the problems and the only solution it to accept the problem. I wish to be on a boat where I can sit around bragging about the boat and I have no temptation to tell the other sailors about the major problems.
It scared me yesterday watching Jakob do what he wanted to do, not what WE needed to do, uncontrolled, trying to help me and Craig pull the anchor out of the water. This anchor is chain, very heavy and it took three people working very hard on a slippery deck to pull it out of the water. We needed to coordinate our efforts, work together, then take great care, not to let go of the anchor. When we let go of the anchor all person had to agree to let go a the same time, anticipate any problems, be safe away from the large coil of chain on the deck so it did not entangle our feet and pull us into the dropping anchor. All persons need to want to work together, all person have to respect that the other person is doing their best.
One of us could have lost a finger or a foot yesterday, upon asking when this was discovered the Captain said somewhere in Vestigo. I do not know where this is, however I am sure it is not here in the Chaguaramas Harbor.
95 percent of the problems are cosmetic or personal; however, there is 5 percent that are safety issues.
I want to anticipate, plan, learn how to be the best, I wish to learn from the best of the best to have learn good habits. I may one day buy a boat; I know how hard it is to change myself and do not wish to learn bad habits. The ocean is big, bigger than I can engulf in my brain, it will not forgive, and there are people that die on the ocean for simple problems. I could come up with 10 ways we could die on this boat; I could anticipate and explain how lack of anticipation of problems could cause us to die.
Anything has danger, the goal in traveling the planet it to minimize the danger, to plan, to be patient, to take great care. To anticipate the potential for good and the potential for bad. I am living an optimized life, I can plan or choose my battles, I can choose my challenges, and I can choose to enjoy my day. At the end of my life, I wish to tell stories of the great persons in my life I was around, I expect very much from myself and I expect much from others.
- Expectation Management - That is a term Craig told me, I learned from Craig how to be better, I did not watch him have problems and learn. Some person need to learn from hardship and problems, and other try to study the best and learn, hoping to not have to experience a major problem to learn. I expect to learn, I am curious, I think many problems through to the nth degree.
I will respect and show respect to all person around me, if the person or persons in my life I do not respect and honor, I will leave, they can learn the hard lesson on their own, I can learn mine from doing it right the first time, trying my best, being my best. However, better to walk away from a boat than to sit here typing negative comments for the next months about the boat. I believe this is almost guaranteed to happen, I have felt like I have done this for the last week, I expect that I will do this tomorrow, I am leaving the boat. I want to brag about what went very good, planned, executed with clarity, how we conquered the whale, killed the whale, how life is about major accomplishments and not how I survived.
Enough of the negative feelings, bad Karma. HeHeHe
Life is Good.