The Nature of Aggression
The Nature of Aggression
I see many types of aggressive behaviors as people try to either take or stop people from taking. An offensive or defensive aggression, however, there is the noisy type like the Israel culture and there is the quiet type like the German culture or many Asian cultures. I personally prefer the noisy type, it like a barking dog much safer and known, while a dog that does not bark is much more dangerous.
I had a wonderful night last night, and also had a terrible, I sound like an Arabian person that can somehow encompass both types of feeling all the time, while the normal western world only does one.
I left my friends home for many reasons yesterday however mostly remove being in a controlled environment. I had been there for maybe five days and I had no way to enter of leave the jailed feeling home. There is some really good security in Israel and it works both ways, you cannot enter and you cannot leave, I was the latter there was no way for me to get up and take my morning walk, everything was a major plan, I needed to carry everything and if I did not have it, or forgot, I was out of luck. I could not enter the property until somehow they left and found me. There was no way to ring the doorbell, and they could be home and I still could not enter.
I would call this an aggressive desire or defensive aggressive behavior to control you home to the extent that nobody can hurt you, then it catapults to higher levels by refusing me a way to enter of leave. Mostly fear coming out as control, not a good thing.
The end or termination of time spent came because of the endless questions, which for instance is one of my greatest character defects. I ask too many questions and am very aware of this; actively I try to avoid people so my curiosity does not drive them crazy. I have learned a second more important problem is that a person asking questions is controlling the conversation, or trying to control the conversation. This was the end yesterday as there was no way for me to get my friend or past friend to stop prodding or asking questions. I was locked inside with no control over my coming or going and he decides to ask questions about Hip Hop and MTV, Rappers and music, I am suppose to be in love with what he is in love with and if I am not the same, then I do not like him. I have learned to ignore the differences and to overlook the non-important issues like what type of music a person likes; this is really a very non-important issue in life. Everyone likes what he or she like.
Therefore, the questions would not stop and I not being able to leave or enter the premises ended a friendship of sort.
There is a very harsh reality to travel friendships, they 99 percent of the time end forever and this is not important. They normally just die for lack of attention and forgetting who the person is or how you met the person. However for me I have taken the need for happiness further by proactively removing some annoying acquaintances from my life, and sometimes I am doing the favor for them because I am annoying them, so I remove myself from their life.
What was that movie where the person kept saying you needed to be able to leave and walk away in ten seconds and never look back? Deniro, Hoffman, there was a guy, he played in the movie… ah, cannot think had a long night and the brain is not clear, age I am not 20 and I cannot remember the way I could very annoying.
However, the bottom line in happiness is not to include people in your life or not to include places and things in your life. The essential decision of being happy is to remove from your life that which does not make you happy, therefore what is left are only the good things.
This is not to say you cannot have hundreds of friends; however, you need to meet many people, then the ones that are obvious problems you walk away from. The words obvious, subtle, and tricky are then the problems, as it is very hard to differentiate between people quickly. In the end it needs to only be instinct for a traveler and not rational. This person has a good feel and this one has a bad feeling, I trust or do not trust the person. Then sometimes you are with a person and you find you are weaker from the relationship so you must leave also, the ones I want are the ones that make me more than I was, somehow making me bigger or better than I was before.
I suppose in reverse I must not annoy a person and make them stronger, and then the funny part is most people find relationship by the common sharing of dysfunctional hooks. I suppose this is a sharing, I have a need, you have a want so we connect, then other parts I have a want you have a need. Hard to envision or explains, however some people need to give and others need to take. Some need to abuse and others have a need to abuse, it goes onto infinity the combinations, just like love.