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Jerusalem Feelings

2005-08-17 22:35:00

I am at this kitchen table in a Jerusalem, there is this every present feeling I have like I am in some old Vietnam movie where there are these journalist holed up in a hotel, drinking all night and waiting for something to happen. I do not think the Gaza thing is much of drama story, however extremely important for the world.

I am only positive of one thing... I am in an Un-Holy or unhappy place, the person here are not looking for the good of life, I must leave soon.

This is a hard comment to make, harsh and condemning, shall I make the comment that this is an Un-Holy place? I have thought it, therefore I think it and feel it, is it true, this is the point, I am just a person here visiting, how can I make a blanket comment about a place. I can make any comment I wish because I am only talking about my feelings, they are real to me.

I do not feel God here, I feel I am surrounded by well-wishers with smiles on their face, looks in their eyes, people in the Hostel walk around some with this I am working on the side of the right, I am righteous, this is scary. I am bewildered though as there is almost nobody here that is talking of having a God or believing in the Good of a benevolent God, they talk more from the like people from a Self-Help groups which I know way to much about as I am not over 18 years sober, there are people in these groups that believe by going and saving others they can save themselves.

I personally am still thinking I am in remission and the work needs to be done for myself, I am, and always think, I make this website to make enough money to travel, where I can chase girls and have the good life. I am able to spend the winters in the tropics. This is my goal, however as I pass around or through the planet, I see and smell distress, I can move towards or away from this, there will always be anger and frustrations.

I was thinking or laughing to myselfs, is there something about the Volunteers of the planet that says they must be frumpy or not so pretty, is there something about a techie that means they have to be a nerd, is there only some sub-classes of person that can enter a group. Could a very handsome and beautiful man be Jesus or Muhammad, does a person have to be downtrodden week and oppressed before they can do good works?

I am just laughing to myself and making sure I stay prioritized, I am a tourist, a traveler, and a person that is having fun wandering around the planet. My mission is to help myself and enjoy life, then to help others to enjoy I hope a similar life, maybe give some methods or ways for travelers to come and be a hobo the same as me, maybe I hope in the future to allow them a way to earn the money to travel the same.

I am not here to save the planet, there is a small set of words used or I have heard people say.
"I am only positive of two things, there is a God, and I am not him."

The work to save the planet is not my job, my job is only to be a good boy today and to be the best example possible, then not berate, then forgive myself and others when I screw up something. I am sure I am making some of them comments as I type that would annoy someone, I am sure people are not (waying - weighing) me by my intentions, however they for sure will weigh me by how I spell word.s... oops, the word Weigh is not Way, how can I do that, it is like my mind does not obey. I really wish I had a really beautiful... Better say Dutch, or Swedish, Israeli girls are not acceptable in my present location, there are none here, oh yea a couple, maybe. I wish I had a wonderful girl to edit this so I did not feel a little guilty when I push the publish button that I am making you work to read my ramblings.

So I am in this bombed out Hostel, that would only be fun to be in because it feels like a bombed out hostel, it is has never been bombed and it may have never been cleaned, however it sets the perfect mood for a bunch of person who wish to save the world. I really have the impression they want to exterminate all the Jewish people and really will never be happy until they are completely gone.

I asked a person here, is the Gaza disengagement good.
The Palestine want them to leave.
Around 8500 people are leaving.

Does the person say yes?
Nope, she says, no.

This is difficult, there is no progress being made in the minds of anyone here in the Hostel, there is a sincere feeling in me that they wish to punish and take revenge upon the Israeli people. For sure the Israeli people and country does very bad and outrageous things, then again a suicide bomber in my mind is never acceptable. Who is most outrageous, who cares, not me, these people are not reasonable, there is no solution I can feel or see, the only way either side may be happy is when all the other side is dead.

My gut says, for sure the Palestine want genocide of the Israeli people, and the Israeli people do not consider the Palestine capable of humanity. Therefore they need to be told how to live. These are generalizations and with a good generalization this is only generally true.

However there is the exceptions, please do not be anal and tell me, or write me with specifics that prove the a generalization wrong, one specific does not prove anything, just that you know an exception.

Obviously I am thinking too much, I really like Tel Aviv and the beach life, maybe I should take the bus there today. I am only here presently because I have free internet, and have over 250 photos that I wish to publish, send out my newsletter and star anew on a new subject.

Some lady called me a Journalist today, annoying, and for sure there is no way I collaborate or track down the truths to subject properly, I am just a guy that searches until I am positive for myself that I have found my truths, this is all we need to find our truths, then again there are those with delusions of adequacy that talk to much.

Who am I... I am a Hobo, hehehe, who in their right mind would listen to a Tramp, Bum, or a Hobo that goes from place to place looking for work.

Here is the organization that these people are working for in the Hostel, my gut tells me they are supporting the suicide bombers about 20 percent, they say no, however there is no harsh comments against the bombers, therefore a tacit agreement, and some call the martyrs, and for sure that means support.

If you have nothing to do, click on it and have fun, I highly recommend you go look at something different as this will only lead to confusion, and that to me is the devils only friend, however some of you wish to know what I am referencing and I would not want to give you cognitive dissonance, or leave you hanging in normal terms.