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2003-11-16 22:12:00

I went off on a research tangent in my Computer Encyclopedia and to me a long time to find any clarity on the subject of “Alpha Theory.”

I do this, I will study a phrase or behavior until I get some chunked down clarity on the subject. Until I can understand a concept in simplify in simple terms.

What happened? Why am I talking about Alpha Theory. Last night I was saying that I consider the Islamic or maybe the Arab world working on a more overtly macho level. They dominate the females, and males dominate or try to dominate the other males. I said to a guy,

“Saddam in the leader or figurehead for the Islamic world.”

It is Alpha Theory…. If you have a group of wolves. One will emerge as the leader of the pack.

The man said,

“I do not believe in this.”

That is simple and irrefutable, but lacks the natural idea that someone can dominate you and it really exist. I always think of the very huge football players on my dorm floor. It was fun to talk to them, but in the end you always remembered that they could swat a smaller guy like a fly or mosquito. They was naturally dominant. I could maybe dominate them mentally, but in the end that threat of violence was an equalizer.

I really think that Saddam and Usa Bin Laden are nothing but BIG DOGS or leaders of a group that is only controlled by violence. The more violent, and the more willing you are to enforce the violence the more a person is capable of being the leader in lots of Muslim societies. This seems to hold for the Clerics also, they hold a lot of their positions by having their follower incited to kill the other clerics.

But as a strategy to stop the violence of the middle east and terrorist you need to remove the leaders. If you remove one, there will be another. But after awhile th idea is to replace the leader with person that has power given to him or her by the people. That is democracy. But there is still this alpha theory going one.

Alpha is the first letter of the Greek Alphabet. Therefore as I understand this it means the FIRST. So the alpha theory means that one will be the first. All movies and westerns, and violence shows, and such are about the conflict between good and bad, and who gets the girl. In the end it is also about who is top dog. I am amazed at the intentional or non-intentional desire to keep this type of thought out of conversations. Of course I could just stand up and bang my head on the table and get the proof, but then people would cower and be submissive and walk away. It is sort of a control issue, and to ignore it is to allow a dominate alpha person to control you life. Whether overtly or covertly. Aggressively or passively a person can control another person. This is often a very good thing, it is NOT bad. It is human nature.

So to remember where I stand in the pecking order is to know my safe level of interaction with people. I wrote something a while back to myself on this and think I found it. This link will eventually work.

Democracy still allows for the Alpha Male or the Alpha Female to emerge. The idea works much more subtle, but still works. I think about this every time I am afraid or cowering. I do the cower thing to let them think they another is dominating sometimes, and some time because I am really afraid and know it is the best idea. But in most cases this is still a premeditate concept and sort on the cold side of my head and not the warm side of my head. Maybe from the shadow of myself. Good guy - bad boy sort of debate in the inner mind of myself. Now is all that rambling didn’t give you a head ache. Nothing will..


There is a guy and a girl that met on this beach. The man is about 45 and the woman is about 35 years old. They both sit on the beach daily and talk, then at night they sit and eat dinner together. They are both sociable, warm, and have met various groups of people on the beach. So they do know a lot of people on the beach and are not alone in anyway or dependent upon the other.

It is nice to see relationships start and blossom. This one has a time limit almost of 1 month or until the man goes back to work. Each of them has a single hut on the beach and are right next to each other.

This is a liberal world with most of the traveler and tourist and hard to see any religious or moral restraints that impinge upon their lifestyles. People for good or bad are able to do as they wish. I have been watching this relationship since I arrived at Palolem beach. Thinking they were an item, but I am not a kid and do not go around teasing or chiding as I may have when I was younger.

But yesterday I broached on the subject. So what’s up with your girl. He said,

“We are just friends, she is very independent.”

I said,

“She is independent.”

He said,

“It is good.”

I think he is saying the right thing and trying to allow her to be independent, but I can tell in the back of his mind that he is very frustrated. He has done what he thinks are all the right things. Treated her with respect, listened and tried to be a gentleman in his actions. But in the end this guy did not want to be just friends, he wanted a little more romance. I know that he learned this the other night when a lot of the traveler went out and got drunk. He returned back home late and night and woke her up to try to make her laugh. But was shut down, and told to go to bed, so there was a boundary he crossed, and she did not tolerate a jolly time by him at all.

I told him,

“The USA has a whole country full of independent women.”

Paused, then said,

“They are so independent they do not need men.”

I see a generation of men that have learned the new rules, and they have learned to respect women. This is good and correct. The sad part is they have learned to not have respect for themselves. This man has continued on hoping if he behaved and did all the right things the girl would respect him and care for him.

To me this is a sad story of independence gone astray. She has 35 and 1/3 rules that he obeys perfectly. Why does a person sit around obeying or listening to rules of another person without having some rules of his own? He is no a rule maker and does not try to enforce any rules on her. I would like to walk up and slap him side the head and say,

“The girl has not met you half way.”

She is independent and it is her way or the highway. This is fine and she has the right to do as she wished. But let her be alone and get on with your life. He is now talking very little with her, and starting to make a lot more friends along the beach and wandering around more. But he tried so hard and forgot to have respect for himself.

There is another couple next door that is just the opposite. The male makes all the decisions and the girl tails along. This is sort of out of balance, but it works and they live together and they are happy.


There is a circle to make here on the beach. I can start out from my Hotel, then go out the back to the road, and slowly follow it back to the beach where I walk on the beach back to my room. I take about 4-5 laps a day trying to find something to occupy my time or my mind. I just got back from a night time lap. I normally do not make them at night. Early morning or just before sunset is the best time to make a lap. People walking around and things happening. It to me is a good idea to walk the area of anyplace a lot. The more you walk the area, the more you can pick up on subtle parts of the culture. Small signs, or where the schools are located, or where the cows go. I just learned that on the beach at night all the dogs sleep. They even sleep in groups some of the time. There is a group of about 8 in a pile as I walked back. Not a pile, but a close knit grouping of dogs. Make you remember they used to run in packs. But this is something small you learn as you roam around. This is the local culture and the dogs are the burglar alarms for the area. They will bark in the event of trouble.

I slowly learn faces and name also by walking around and saying hello to the locals. They start to see me enough that I am familiar and more then just a dollar sign to them. There are a few that I recognize very well and am starting small conversations.

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