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Joseph commented about The Five Reasons I Argue With African Women, On Monday March 21st, 2011 07:49:08 AM
I am Ghanaian and can understand your frustration Andy.
African women have an entirely different upbringing and that makes them difficult to live with even as an African man. They say NO and expect you to think they mean yes. They complain a lot about other people and might want to intervene where they have no business.
Like you said, they go silent on you when upset and stay so for days or even months. Most men here know how to put up with this and will not budge but when you are the victim of their incommunicado mode, it can irk but that's just their pride speaking. Sometimes a slight beating loses the tongue. i mean that's what's done here.
Not many women here have transcended that though every religion here (and there is a sea of it) teaches them submission to the man.
The accepted norm here in Ghana (though unspoken) is to live parallel lives under the same roof. Love mostly works in the courting and dating days when you are doing the gifting and they are doing the receiving. Everything is nice then.
With work, most wives even with higher learning do not know their husbands salary or problems at work and will not reveal theirs.
The African woman is extremely sensitive to appearances and especially when in a relationship with a Caucasian, would be highly motivated to look rich on the outside even if this places a serious dent in your finances.
My experience with this is most Caucasians prefer to share whereas Africans can be married but emotionally closed to each other. where there is a collision, it is the Caucasian who suffers because whatever you tell your wife might be used against you in time. African men acquire property unknown to their wives and though you may not understand it, it actually works just fine.
It is much much worse the way they treat kids. you could say all Africans are guilty of that. kids are abused in schools, churches and the home under one accepted banner of discipline. most of it is just venting and teaching kids that might is right. any wonder why there is little thinking and more fighting over the simplest of issues?
A paring of a typical westerner and a very traditional African will never rise to be the best of both worlds. i guess to close your eyes to that fact, you need love. tons of it.
Joseph
Accra-Ghana.
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