The Stress of Negotiations - Negotiating our Lives

There is stress when two people are negotiating, often people become very angry.

There is a never-ending need to negotiate with other humans. Whether we wish to admit it, or we deny it, people spend a lot of time trying to talk other people into accepting their ideas. Or they spend time refusing ideas, offers, and situations and discussing compromises.
You know you have entered into negotiations when you make a compromise.
Is there a need for stress in negotiation? It appears to me, that any need to think, compromise, or need to discuss options is inherently stressful.

Travel Negotiation Stress

I would guesstimate that 50 percent of the business transactions happen with hawkers. If we counted the number of commercial deals being made by hawkers on the planet, the majority of business planets business is done one on one with hawkers.

A hawker is a person who may stop you and proposition you in the street, sometimes they holler, sometimes they say, “Mister,” or “Excuse me,” but they find a way to invade your life. (Wiki Hawker)

Talking with other humans is about hawkers, people complain about Walmart, but there is a reason people like to buy cheap things on shelves, without a human involved, it is less stressful, humans cause us stress.

In many ways, the reason why people become angry with Mormans or the Jehovah's Witness people is their sales techniques. It has nothing to do with their underlying story, or beliefs, they offend people, or they sell them…

Yes, traveling the planet is like being surrounded 24/7 with Jehovah's Witness trying to knock on my door. There is no way to evade the hawkers while living in Philippines, Guatemala, Peru, Ivory Coast, Kenya or the USA.

When people knocks on your door, or stand right in your path, he or she is performing the most common form of marketing on the planet. This person forces you to say, yes, or no. I normally just say,
Maybe it a small lie, but most people just blatantly lie to vendors, telling the vendors outrageous lies. I prefer to just say tomorrow, and say indirectly, I am not going to deal with you now in a polite and honest manner.

Generally, I say nothing, wag my finger at them, and refuse to utter a word, knowing their goal is to make me discuss, compromise, and listen to their propositions

This is Stressful - People standing in your way!

I am 6 foot tall, and weigh about 180, I am not a boy, yet, I can empathize with small girls who intimidated by large people, and coerced into agree to something they want to avoid.

99 percent of the people on the planet will accept a nice smile, with a wag of the finger, and if you just keep walking, the give up quickly. There is zero reason to slow down and talk with hawkers; it is not a social obligation.

Many People Anger Easily

I often seem horrible body language, sneers, disgust and mean looks on people faces, it is amazing hawkers can ignore them the faces of other humans.

Humans do not give up easy, they do not accept no,

I often listen to people talking, trying to induce me to agree with them, and I often say,
“You talk too much.”
Honestly is a shock to people, and normally stops them.

It is a bad idea to travel the planet.

I 100 percent guarantee humans become angry 5-10 times as much when they are traveling in foreign countries. The bigger the culture shock, the bigger the anger, and the reason people need to go on tours, or live in resorts, in reality, this is the only option for many people who wish to encounter some aspects of other countries

Immersion is almost Impossible to Tolerate

1 in 10,000, maybe 100,000 travels becomes immersed in a culture; one knows they are immersed when there is nobody within mile from their same country. Of there is nobody close that speaks the exact same language, with the same style, and mannerism.

Ok, is Negotiations Stressful?
Yes, there is no way to evade the stress.

And, if you are becoming angry, then why are you in negotiations?

What is difficult to understand, or grasp on my part, is the need to buy things while angry. People will endure great stress because they want something, they will sacrifice their personal happiness to buy a house, a cell phone, and they will lose all perspective in the pursuit of THINGS.

This missive is not to meant to be the answer to all questions; it is just the proposition of ideas.

Yet, if you are angry when negotiating, then why proceed? Do you need what you are buying, or do you just want it?

Tomorrow is always a good decision when confused, give yourself a break today and say tomorrow.


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Andy knows me fairly well, from his time in Guatemala. His experience is very different than mine, as I was not raised in the United States. Haggling with vendors was always a part of my life when I was a child, and now that I live in Guatemala, it's just part of normal life.

My situation is very different than most people's because the local population knows I live here full time, and they also know that I have very good contacts across the country. I also keep my mouth shut, when foreigners try to 'buck' the system, and end up getting screwed in the process.

One of the key components in negotiation, at least from the Central American viewpoint is acknowledging the vendor as a person first, and then their product. I rarely start out asking a price, unless it's someone I do a lot of business with. I talk about their family, the number of tourists in town, and so forth.

At the same time, I watch snow birds come down, and try to act "American" or "Canadian" or whatever, and get treated very differently. To cite an example, while I was waiting for my fish vendor's attention on Friday, I watched a woman I presume to be American argue with him for 15 minutes. She ended up buying 1 lb, of less than fresh Snook for Q55 a lb. When my turn came, I also bought Snook, but, I got better fish, from the other cooler, that was indeed very fresh for Q18 a lb.... And I bought 2 lbs.

Andy is absolutely correct, hawkers, vendors, etc. can be annoying as hell. Many of us live in places where they are a part of life. If it happens to be something you have to deal with, don't drag your history of first world consumerism with you. It will not help you... Treat people with dignity, and kindness, and often you will come out ahead, and you will always be a better person for the experience.

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