You Need to Ask Extremely Personal Questions of other Travelers if you want to make good friends, that you trust to help you when you need help.
I know this sounds obnoxious, but read on, if you are rather normal, this will all make sense. It would be nice if normal people lived abroad, but the don't!
People Who Live Abroad Are:
The wanted, the unwanted, hermits and the curious.
I am Andy Lee Graham, I live abroad, because it is 10-50 times cheaper than living in the USA, I am an extremely rich person in 85 percent of the planet, and I am poor in the USA, Europe, Japan and Australia, etc.
This is weird, almost insanely strange to me, but I have been chastise, insulted, and asked by other foreigners.
"Why do you shake hands and say,
- Hello, I am Andy Graham?"
A few years ago in Jaibalito, Guatemala a girl I was dating introduced me to an American who has a house on Lake Atitlan in the village of Jaibalito. I knew immediately he was American by his accent. I walked up, held out my hand, and said,
"I am Andy Graham."
He shook my hand, and said a name, he was a nothing, a zero to me, so I do not remember his name. But for the sake of how to make friend knowledge, lets pretend he said,
No last name, nothing like, nice to meet you, nothing personal, other than we was at his house, and my not-to-be-named short-time girlfriend was telling me,
"Andy, you got to meet this guy."
My temporary girlfriend said,
"Why did you push him to tell you his name?"
"Why did you shake hands?"
"It is not my fault he is a drug dealer, or grows marijuana."
I introduced myself as is the custom of gentlemen and good mannered Americans in the USA, and he is American, so I greeted him that way.
"We are not in America."
"Guatemalans say shake, say hello, and tell me their name also."
"He is a drug deal, he is the wanted, and the un-wanted, he is a double dipper."
I said, I have no desire to be friends with drug dealers, they do not enrich my life, they are afraid, they are not honest, I have to think, I do not want to think and plan so much with friends, it is not my idea of friendship.
By asking normal questions, I got rid of problem children, and paved the way to meet good friends faster.
Here is another story from just yesterday.
I was sitting in the Parada Restaurant in Panajachel, Guatemala talking to a new friend who is a University Professor, she is honest, and come lives on Lake Atitlan for three months during school break, it is cheaper, and her son can become bilingual and learn there is a world other than the insulated USA. She wants her son to be exceptional, and not just average.
There is a Deluge of Missionaries here in Pana...
- The charge 1500 to import them, so they can be stupid here.
My brother is a preacher, he is a missionary to Guatemala, and for all I know, and I do not want to know, he probably, most likely is another one of the missionaries carrying the Christian word to an already Christian country.
Well, me and Kim are having a debate about:
"What is a Missionary?"
"I think Missionaries should be people who have the calling by God."
She give me the cloudy answer,
"It is so they can have a spiritual trip."
"The are tourists, who get to write it off travel on their taxes, and have their idiot parishioners pay for them go have fun."
THE KICKER ON; How to make friends?
There was one of the 20 year old small girl Missionaries Tourist that came and sat down right next to us, she is from South Africa and the stupid Christians there paid a small fortune to get her over here to Guatemala. Well, she could easily hear me talk, and was listening.
The kept giving me dirty look, you know, the controlling type, I just was laughing, like I am going to allow a 20 year old nut to influence me?
The wanna be Holy Girl walked away.
My friend says,
"That missionary girl was giving you dirty looks."
"Good, she will stay away from me."
My friend asked,
"Why would you want a pretty girl to stay away?"
I went on to explain, it would be rather stupid on my part, to keep my opinions to myself, and to try to make friends with this girl. Then one day, I would slip, and the girl would get mad at me when I was honest. It is much better for me to be honest and repel her, so we do not go through this no-fun ritual of pretending to be something we are not. I than said,
"I do not lie to meet people."
I am Christian, and I do not get angry when people are different than me, I get angry when people have bad manners. Talking and debating about what is a missionary to me is what a Christian should do in my opinion. I said, I do not think these are Christians, half are evil, and their other half are insanely naive. My job is to lead them to the truth.... hehehe
My friend the Professor was still listening, and I respect that, she was searching for truth, and not looking for ways to be angry like the "Missionary Tourist."
"You need to repel the non-friends quickly."
If you want true friends...
If you want honest friends....
If you want tolerant friends...
If you want open-minded friends...
If you want intelligent friends...
But, more importantly, if you want adventurous, brave and cutting edge friends, you need to ask incredibly personal questions of people.
The weak will run, the strong will stay in and have fun.
I just feel it is the best way to get rid of the wanted, and the unwanted fast, and get onto people like me, the curious and honest.
However, think about it, if you are wanted by the USA, if you feel the USA does not want you, you will also make friends.
I do not care if a bunch of people that are wanted or unwanted in the USA are near me, talking, or I am listening, I have many casual acquaintances that are funny. It is impossible to avoid the certifiably crazy conspiracy theory people on Lake Atitlan, Guatemala, they are the dominating force.
But, my job for me, is to find like-kind friends for me, and the quickest way to do this is to ask extremely personal questions and watch them run. What is left over are a great bunch of potential good friends.
It is possible to get in big trouble while living abroad easily, you need to have the telephone numbers of honest people to help you in your phone. To call the wanted by the USA people, or the unwanted is just setting yourself up for misery.
Is a wanted person going to go the police station to report a crime?
Make Tons of Money by Asking Personal Questions
I was a Real Estate Broker in the USA, and I sold two Homes per week.
Why? I asked personal questions?
Example: A person would call my office, I would say,
"This is Andy Graham, Winning Team Realtors."
--- The person would ask a question.
I would give the short answer.
I would ask,
"What is your name?"
If the person said only "Joe."
I would excuse myself and hangup.
If the person said
"I am Joe Smith, and I live in the West Central Neighborhood."
I would then continue, and ask his name, telephone number, address, how many children, and which school district, etc.
I could get to real clients fast, I can sit down an answer the phone at any Real Estate office in the world and have more sales than any other person in the office, it is too easy. I just do not talk with non-committal people, who want to use me.
Man up, and stop talking with people who want to use you, whether by phone, email or Facebook. A person who will, and wants to help you is almost never anonymous.
nabashalam from has written 58 comments
Andy, I wanted to post a photo here but it said "Oops! There's been an Error! You are not authorized to access the document requested. Please contact Support.". Am I on a probationary period... or even parole?
Gadget from has written 1,020 comments
Not on any probations from HoboTraveler.com. But, what happens is this, people steal photos from other sites, and try to post on our site. We obey copyright laws, therefore we are responsible for what happens. We are trying to make a system, where a person who proves they are real person, by sending 25 USD, and we send a letter with a code to their house to vet them, may then do more. Like post a picture, and they own the photo, not us, and we would say, FULL NAME owns this.
Facebook is a bad example, they are a club, and can do almost anything, the skirt the letter of the law, but not the color, and will soon be sued for billions of dollars. Youtube is getting tight, and the too need to lose billions.