22 Years of Sobriety for Andy

Andy The Sober Hobo Said :

"To cause disharmony between two people is evil. For example, if a child would cause his parents to argue, this is evil".

Hello Andrew are you drinking when you wrote this ?

Children pit their parents against each other all the time in relations that are not tight nit.

The child is not evil. He/she is learning to survive like any child/animal and seeking guidance.

The Parents should recognize that (AS YOU SAY) "if a child would cause his parents to argue THIS is evil".

A good parenting team would see what the child is doing and understand he/she has some issue that needs to be addressed by both parents and shown love and understanding and that the Parents are a team and will not be separated and pitted against each other by the the Child because of anger or displeasure with one or both of his/her parents.

"Yes we are the Boss of you" !
Is something children will understand if done together and one parent is not THE BIG BOSS and the other the softy. Parenting is a team game. Unfortunately it is a lost art in many communities that rely on goverment programs.

Never blame a child Andy and never expect your goverment to be a substitute.

To do so is Evil.

Yes, Chuck you are correct, I was pointing at a problem, you are explaining the solution. When parents allow their children to make them argue, they have problem children and they are troubled. From my point of view, I avoid the children and the parent, I am not worried about their happiness, I am worried about mine first.

Getting involved in any dysfunctional relationship gives it power and creates problems, always best to avoid or ignore. One of the most dysfunctional behaviours exerted by people is the beliefs they can change people.

Oops, by the way Chuck, the question. "Hello Andrew are you drinking when you wrote this?" is the non-constructive, and best ignore type of comment. You do this to cause confusion with the readers, you know I am not drinking, however you want to cause confusion, not clarity, so it belittles you in my eyes. I know you are very intelligent, but you remove the temper of the steel with this comment as it was just to provoke. An excellent example for this post of small things a person who wishes to be sane, happy and lead a constructive life should avoid. Thanks

I know your style of comments and look for the intelligence in your comments ignoring the noise. However readers often are preoccupied with your desire to be clever, or provoking comments. When you first started commenting, I was deleting about 80 percent, you have slowly learned to stay within acceptable. Comments that provoke and make other readers comment is no my goal. I want comments that end the discussion because we have concluded the need for further comments. Too many comments means there is confusion, a truly clear post has zero comments, there is no need for comments, it is a complete thought.

Andy HoboTraveler.com said… on Sunday, February 22, 2009 9:13:00 PM

"Yes, Chuck you are correct, I was pointing at a problem, you are explaining the solution".
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No actually I think Chuck did point out the problem of your problem and also came up with a solution.

usually Chuck is a a-Hole funny man but he does sometimes stay sober enough to put out cogent thought. I think he was giving you a Razing for not drinking. In case you forgot USA guys do this all the time to the ones they care for ; and you say to stay away from them but they are usually good guys just doing what they do and not meaning it to be harmful but to say "They accept you condition but let them have one last joke to make you know how bad "YOU" used to make Them feel".

Chuck your right. Andy you are also TECHNICALLY RIGHT.

Andy,

Much of the Bible is difficult to understand. The Ten Commandments are clear but appear not to provide the parameters. Here is where Theologians enter to help lay people better understand God's Word. Martin Luther explains each of the commandments in Luther's Small Catechism "The Fifth Commandment/You Shall Not Murder......54. What does God require of us in the Fifth Commandment?
A. We should help and support our neighbor in every bodily need." Romans 12:20 is quoted.

"B. We should be merciful, kind,and forgiving towards our neighbor.
Matthew 5:5,7,9;Matthew 6:15, and Ephisians 4:32." are quoted.
We are instructed to be kind, loving toward others. To provoke argument, discension amongst people is sinful.
The child, you mentioned, who causes his parents to argue is also breaking the Fourth Commandment. As parents we are to train up a child. That is part of our job.
We are all sinful;even children. As a result we all need God's grace of salvation. This He has already given to us freely.
A question on your succesful sobriety: How did you do it? The reason I ask is because my sister-in-law struggles with alcoholism. She went through the 12 step program. Her sobriety lasted a year. She is drinking again. Very sad for the whole family.
Thank you for sharing your past addiction. I know it has nothing to do with travel. But do know by sharing this information you may be helping others. I suspect it didn't suck energy out of you to share. On the contrary it is therapeutic. Enjoy your stay with your family

I have been quietly reading your blog for a while now. I am glad you are on your journey, and more importantly, are sharing it.

Chuck is being a jerk. I am sure he is smart enough to have understood your intention. It is important, if you want harmony, to seek the intentions of words/actions and take the surface with a grain of salt.

Kudos to you Andy on making the right decision for you on drinking. It is not for everyone, and can cause problems. It takes wisdom and good intention to choose a path other than the one we walk, when we know it is right to do so.

I have some theories on Chucks unhappiness, and why he tries to put it onto others. I'm sure you do to. I am glad to see that you let him walk his path, and let him continue with his link to a good example, instead of deleting/banning him permanently.

Andy,

This was powerful for me. Thank you. It clarified something to my mind that I have already been learning but had no words for.

What can I say but thanks for sharing. This is gold.

I just discovered your site yesterday and I'm really enjoying going through your blog entries backwards, from newer to older, while selecting some of your articles to learn from and enjoy. This one is priceless.