Understanding the Cadeau

ahyes, you remind me the culture of cadeau in Rep of Congo.
However, I think the bit with girls is something else, at least it was for me in Rep. of Congo.

I used that Cadeau with all the people and friends I had.' J'ai un cadeau pour toi '(understand)? was the way to start a conversation.

I remember that I had a friend who asked me to buy him a Nintendo gaming system, this guy was so sad and delusioned with life, I learned that he died from an illness a few months later.

I met some girl in South Kivu , it was long time ago , pre-rwanda genocide, at that time, it was a no foreigners place in this vast place, I only met 4 foreigners a couple of U.S backpackers and 2 lebanese "business" people. The girls there know their place so they dont ask gifts, they know I can move on to some other girl, they better make me fall in love with them and ask for commitment and stuffs later.

Now, ok if you are in area with a lot of profiteers like the NGO people then the girls arent sure they can secure your heart.
I remember I talked with a Ghana girl after a few minutes of fine discussion she asked me 50 US dollars.

I think if you retire away from the city, you will meet far less 'cadeau' people or may be time have change so much, that the cadeau mentality is everywhere.

47 countries on the mainland and 6 island nations, Africa is huge, and then gain this number of countries is maybe negtiable.

Francophone or Anglophone, do they speak French and say Cadeau or do they speak English and say gift.

If they are speaking Mina, are they also asking for gift.

Expectations and wanting, the cultures change, evolove, and are mixed and dynamic.

Fun in the proper balance, annoying when an adult comes up and demands.

I somestimes just reply, yes I wiil take a gift if you give me one. Or I am trying to say in French, yes it is your turn to give me a gift.

I try to remember to say Togo and West Africa and limit the area of my comments, qualify the ideas, Africa is vast and an expanse of cultures.

if you went full on poorer than them looking hobo in rags, would you avoid being asked for this cadeau? do the beggars ask for cadeau among themselves i wonder?

eric

It is hard to say if they ever see a whiter person as poor, or if they have ever seen a poor white person.

This is not a beggar situation, this is the problem, this is anybody and everybody asking for a gift. The better they know you, the more you talk with them, almost the better the likelyhood they will ask.

Beggar for the most part carry a pan around.

The problem is my feelings, when a person ask for money, I think beggar, but this is somewhat different.

I think all men who have girlfriends have to give money, they must prove they can support the girl.

I dont know how things are in Togo but I remember that in Rep. of Congo if you want to marry a girl, you have to give some huge gifts to her father it is not 'cadeau' anymore it is referred as being 'une dote' ,it can be translated to donation in english I think.

I'm curious to know how it is in Togo, have you heard anything like that over there ?

This is very interesting.

I'm wondering if this is a custom that you may practice yourself (asking them for a gift), or if it only applies to Africans wanting from foreigners. Do they practice it between themselves, or did it come from some type of internally abandoned tradition when one tribe visited another?

//craig of travelvice.com

This is interesting, I do also wonder, I will try to see if there is gift brought to anyone visiting. I do not believe it is normal to give a Gift or Cadeau among each other, however not easy.

I do think a man must give a woman a gift, however, I think a man must be careful on money and girls, maybe an insult.

Rene was pushing me to go with a girl and buy her an Ice Cream, saying she like me when she asked for a cadeau.

I said,
- Then the whole country like me, including the men, because everyone ask me, the ones who do not ask are rare. -

I do think, if a girl like you, and is polite, she will ask for something, then will want to walk with you. If she does not want to walk with me or you, then maybe just a greed thing.

Asking for a cadeau can be an opening line for women, and for men, I think they just want to see if they can get over on you and sort of abuse good faith. There is a real macho world here, and I have learned how to be more macho then normal.

Not a hard thing for an Indiana Farm boy.

I will watch and listen, try to see if anybody is giving or asking for gifts, beside from me.

Addendum:
I am now in Kpalime, I will publish this comment now.

I just had a girl in the hotel, ask me to go to the mountains tomorrow with her, before I go, she wants me to buy here a small cell phone. I am trying to be serious, I say,
“How much?” in the French Language.

30 CFA this is about 60-75 US dollars.
Amazing audacity, this is the same as an American girls saying, give me a months pay. This is a months pay here.

I am not going to buy here a phone, and I am not going to the mountain with her, does spurn me on to learn the word greed in French.
- avidité -