Kpalime, Togo West Africa
Saturday, March 31, 2007
SWEDISH GIRL I WANT TO FORGET:
I met this Swedish girl, yesterday in the Gomido Bar, makes me appreciate the Togo women. There seems to be a propensity for the less-than-up-to-snuff-looks-wise (ugly) white people to come to Africa, however I better be careful, I fit into this category, as I am white.
This woman has traveled many countries, she was annoyingly Swedish, and there are two types, the ones that are balanced, and the ones that are snobs. A country making large weapons, probably selling them to the Islamic world and invaded by 1 million of them on their free money system and she is complaining about the USA system.
I have never eaten in the Gomido, and I suspect it is recommended in the Lonely Planet that was sitting on the table.
I made a comment about Africa being expensive, she said,
- I have no problem finding cheap rooms. -
I think she is in DENIAL.
Or her Ego Defense mechanism is kicking in.
BELGIUM SOLAR WORKER
I think his name is Oliver, a smart man, and I hope to meet again. I was discussing solar this, and solar that, and all sorts of fun things and somehow he is working with one of the exceptionally pretty white girls in Africa and I forget here name.
I was making a small comment about the Africans Men being Macho and trying to intimidate. He said,
- I have not noticed this. -
I think he is in DENIAL.
Or his Ego Defense mechanism is kicking in.
I am trying to remember, I have this Farmer Tan, it is very annoying, I laid out in Lome, trying to get one of them deep dark brown tans on my body, to look the true surfer boy image I promote and try to emulate.
Now, back to this stupid Farmer Tan. A Farmer Tan is where a person is wearing a t-shirt or some shirt all day and his or her face, mostly him get a tan on his arms and face that are very brown, yet when he takes off his shirt, (I have never taken off her farmer shirt), there is a distinct separation. The arms are very brown, the face is very brown and you can see the outline of the collar around the neck.
I have this now again, very annoying to get rid of, because I have to lay on the roof and sweat, read a book, and get thoroughly hot and bored, no beach bikinis to watch.
I do not remember, I do not remember a farmer’s tan on either the Swedish girl or Oliver the Belgium Solar worker or project worker.
It would be very difficult to walk around and see all the people of Africa and not get a farmer tan, unless you did not walk around and see all the people of Africa.
I walk way too much, I would never pay for a trek, it just seems like a stupid thing to pay for, when all I do is walk and trek around the country of Togo, unless I wanted to avoid people then I could go and look at a waterfall and a mountain.
I know a girl by the name of Joscella, she is from Bristol England and she could tell me every way in the world to travel and live cheap. She as an amazingly good traveler, probably the best I ever met, she knew everything about how to live in any type or room, any place, and cheap. With a true traveler, there is not a minute that goes by, when they are not telling you a tip, an idea or some fruit of an idea on how to travel better, this is what we do.
This was not the Swedish girl, she did not tell me one hint on how to travel cheap, she just said,
- I have no problem finding cheap rooms? -
I judge people by their fruit, if she was telling me idea, tips, and specific examples; I would and could believe her. I am terrible, I trust people too much, I am from Indiana, and we trust people. I think she is in denial she wants to pass herself off as a cheap traveler, yet she was sitting in the Gomido buying an expensive salad, and telling me about paying 200 dollars to go on a 4-wheel tour in Benin.
Her fruit says she is full of crap, she pays a lot for rooms, and I gave an example of how to find a cheap room, the boom boom example. She gave me nothing, and is pretending, or lying or in denial.
The Ego Defense mechanism is the idea, I am very smart, I would never say or do something, I would never give an example of how I am stupid, because I must protect my ego, I must retain my self-image or I will have a problem.
Oliver the Belgium guy is maybe doing the same, he does not want to admit or accept a person tried to intimidate him. It is frightening and scary to have this big man come up to you and ask for money, you can just give and hope they go away or you can say no.
IF you admit they are frightening, then you might say to yourself, I should go home.
I say no, but I suspect that most just pay the Piper, and try to pretend it did not happen, and heaven forbid, they would ever say something bad about a country or a culture.
I will, the African men are macho, they will try to intimidate you and I think women can travel better in Africa maybe… The African men are also very or extremely sexist and would never intimidate a woman for power, for sex yes, but not for power no, they see women as powerless and something to be used.
A person intimidates a person that challenges them for power; I personally am quite used to being the Alpha Male and will take the position easily and often. Normally by brains, not brawn, but if be so, I use brawn.
I am going to try to listen for the fruit, try to find the travelers that help me to travel, try to find the people who give me gifts, not asking for gifts. I had this very nice girl give me some peanuts the other day, I will never forget this, it was nice, no agenda.
Sometimes a person will say, I had this really great taxi driver, or this restaurant was exceptional. I want to holler at them.
- HEY stupid, you paid a fortune, what do you want, they kept sucking up because you kept giving them big money. -
To test the fruit of a person, they need to have zero agenda or reason to help or give, not with a reason to give good service as part of their job.
It is very interesting to listen to people and then try to remember who I am, so I do not accidentally trust their opinions and have problems. Recommendations from a Hobo cheap person is not going to cost me or YOU a small fortune, a recommendation from a Swedish paying through the nose person will, if I followed her advice, I would have to pay my way out of danger, and not finesse my way if I followed the people in Denial advice.
Just because you think there is no danger does not mean it not dangerous, just because you think it is cheap, does not mean the next person does not think it is expensive.
A cheap room is one dollar per night in the word, 10 dollars is very expensive on the planet.
Note the Belgium guy was installing a 700 U.S. dollars Solar panel, and admitted, nobody from here could afford it, and his school was paying. I said, it does not work for good on the sustainable word idea, but keep trying, someday; somewhere someone will come up with a good idea, probably by accident, not by design.
I want to hear how a person saved money, how to spend money is easy.Traveler Denial
When they blindly pay more, they unknowingly chain themselves to a system. One that enslaves them and their mind. I think your quest to find ever cheaper solutions while on the road is a desire to never fall victim to the same.
Your post somehow reminds me of this...
"Yet here, Laertes! Aboard, aboard for shame!
The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,
And you are stay'd for.
There ... my blessing with thee!
And these few precepts in thy memory
Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg’d comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel but, being in,
Bear't that th' opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgement.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man;
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower, nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell; my blessing season this in thee!"
- William Shakespeare