I am breaking down the defenses of the Maid in the home here in Banawa, she is staring to trust me or talk to me.
Rosary and Crackers
I was eating this unique cracker or flat sugary dough thing as I was looking for a place in the sun to take a photo of the Rosary.
I am not Catholic and do not assume I ever understand religions, you could try to figure out all the flavors of religions for your whole life and all you would know is there is a lot.
From - Encarta Encyclopedia:
- Rosary, a string of beads or a knotted cord used to count prayers. The term is also applied to the prayers themselves. Rosaries are used in many religions: Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, and Christianity. Most often associated with Roman Catholics, the rosary is also used by the Orthodox, for whom it is almost exclusively a monastic devotion, and by some Anglicans.
In Roman Catholic practice, the rosary is a string of beads made in the form of a circle, with a pendant crucifix. The standard rosary consists of five sets of beads called decades, each composed of one large and ten smaller beads. On the large beads, the Lord's Prayer, or Our Father, is said; on the smaller beads, the Hail Mary, or Ave Maria. In between the decades the �Glory be,� a doxology, is recited. As the prayers are said, the person reciting the rosary may meditate on a series of New Testament events, called the �mysteries� of the rosary, from the lives of Christ and his mother, Mary. The use of these meditations is optional. Traditionally, the rosary was ascribed to the Spanish theologian St. Dominic early in the 13th century, but no proof exists that he originated it. -
I was asking or explaining how the Islamic people will sit around counting beads and saying prayers, she seemed unaware of any type of prayer significance.
She had a bundle of maybe 20 of these Rosary beads.
We had this big heart to heart conversation, she is a 20 year old virgin, working for 1.25 dollars per day, She said her father was bad, left here and sister, she is also sending money home. Want to me a ---- go figure this, she wants to meet a man between the ages of 50 and 80.
This is a 20 year old girl, shy, timid, not a good cook, however nice, wants to go to church, lives inside this compound, has no life, but wants to marry a foreigner.
Bad girls are like water in tourist areas, I can meet and discuss life with a bad girl easily in the Philippines, however to slow one of the local girls down, stop them from texting messages on their cell phones, have the actually explain what they are thinking is a problem. In addition, personally I am not going to be alone or allow myself from a legal point of view to be exposed or around younger nice girls in a somewhat on the ever-present corrupt side.
I have been to the Philippines now 4 time, I have and keep hearing that the Philippines men are bad men, they drink to much, desert their wives, do not behave.
The made says,
- I want a serious man over 50 -
This girl is afraid of men, however she wants a man, and she obviously will sacrifice all or any personal desires to marry a secure and safe man. I said, serious, what does serous mean, she finally or we agreed she wanted an honest man.
We had this 30-minute conversation, I explained to her that I do not think many foreigners in the Philippines would make good husbands; they are not here for what she wants.
She gives me this Rosary after the conversation; I accept and am happy, I am making a friend. She is simpler person, from the provinces, she is probably from a village where the big thing to do at night is to sit on the ground at night and watch people walk by.
I feel I should say a prayer to protect this girl from men that will prey on her innocence, and even worst, in her hero worship mentality of foreigners, she will in a very misguided way believe that Americans or Europeans are special.
Girls like this are like throwing slaves to the lions, easy to capture, easy to kill and eat. What is nice in this world is she believes in marriage and love, she still wants love and still wants to be loved and have a family.
She believes the Philippine men are bad; I am becoming intrigued by the number of girls that tell me that Philippine men are bad. It is becoming too much, hard to encompass a country that is having trouble with all their men
I suppose these little short men do go into the Catholic I can-lie-go-to-confession-mode too much syndrome. The taxi driver asked me, are you here for mischief, if I say yes he his happy.
I said, do you feel bad that the foreigners are taking all your best women? He just does not know the plot of the story and does not get it.
You seem to have an exciting life, you experience a lot of amazing things, you see things many other people may never see but your blog reads like an obit.
This is very interesting for me to read. In India, the girls are not really interested int he white men. I think they know only too well that most tourists in India are not really good people. They are looking for mischeif.
I am interested in Rosaries. A man at Swayambhunath temple in Kathmandu tried to give me Tibetan prayer beads. His idea is that if he gives me gifts I will tip him well: higher than their value. He acted as my un-asked-for guide. I am talking to another man, and he interrupts and annoys me a lot.
Later, the first man, who I like more, explains to me the other man's tactics. And he asks if he can share my taxi back to Thamel. Sure, this is ok. I like him, I'm going there anyway, I know how much to pay, so he can't cheat me. So I get them to drop me a block away from my hotel, don#t tell them the name, then walk off in the wrong direction until he is out of sight....
Happy to give him a free ride. But not twice.
Very insightful and interesting. I think about this a lot. The thing is, it really isn't just the Phillipines, but the whole world over that women are taught that having a man completes them in a way that nothing else can. As a result, they live their entire lives hoping for one, and don't develop hobies or lives of their own. Then when a man comes along they are hurt and disappointed. In that sense, feminism is a great thing, at least theoretically.
I'd like to hear some of your thoughts on more "liberated" countries and how the women there think and live as opposed to the Phillipines.
I am thinking a lot about this, a person in Ecuador wanted me to make a site for Ecuadorian women to meet nice men.
I keep thinking about this, there is a need for normal, good people to meet, not some of the more nefarious types of sites.
There is a need to carefully screen the men and women.
The modern women and men are having deeper problems than the Philippines.
What is an Obit?
Andy, Obit is a Noun which means "A notice of someone's death; usually includes a short biography"...
I think the latter meaning is closer to what mr. anonymous meant.
You know what i find amazing.... that you constantly seek the unnoticeable. I mean, you seem to have an eye for things that are important to enrich your knowledge bank through the language of humaneness and at the same time, I think itrs something that most people would be indifferent towards. There is a specific kind of heart to the basic conversations that are so insightful. Your newsletter is like a window. a yellow coloured one at that.
That was a nice comment, thank you.
I think it comes down to this, I am an alcoholic, even though I have not drank for 19 year, every day I am thankful I did not kill myself. Life is lived on a small precipice and some of us will can jump, a person needs to listen carefully. It would hurt me to know I accidentally just the wrong words to anyone who needs a push away from the ledge.
On the other hand I know I needed very tough love and words to learn my lesson.
Life really is good and even if it is not good. I remember and that Life is good. Life is always good, and in the end you better realize, you have no choice.
I will not kill myself today, because I know all is good. But life is lived on a small precipice, none of us are exceptions.
There is a big expat (US, Aus, Brit, German) community in the Philippines and in Cebu in particular. Not all these "older" men are simply looking for a good time girl. Many of them marry a Filipina and start a family there. The man is looking for someone to love and give comfort in his declining years. The girl wants the security that comes from marrying a foreigner. Maybe an escape from the poverty and a US citizenship.
Sometimes it works out, sometimes the girl finds a younger lover and abandons the man. That's life.
BTW, I sent an e-mail with a small list of "things to do in Cebu". Don't forget to visit Magellans Cross. (Of course like George Washington axe the wood has been replaced over the years...)
I would like to agree with Lightningetc. Your blog is like a light on the world, a torch that's pointed under the rocks to allow us to see the life underneath, a beacon for all travellers - and aren't we all really travellers on a journey? In time, if not in space, to who knows what destination...
i just found your site and am reading your entries on the philippines. i agree with alot of the things you say about the philippines but i agree more with the reply on this page from hoz. i feel you need to do more visiting of significant sites and places that display the true filipino lifestyle in cebu and try to have a deeper understanding of the philippine people and expats than a short few day visit can afford. some of your observations seem to be a "surface adaptation" type of viewpoint that may be caused by your country and culture hopping lifestyle... not trying to disparage your view, i am just making my own observation being an american who lives both in the usa and cebu, and married to a filipina. i disagree with the anonymous comment that you are like a torch showing what lies beneath. to make a significant observation (as you are attempting) of the dynamics of filipinos and the expats who live there, you need to look beyond the obvious. i also take exception to your calling filipinos "pigs". if anything, the negative aspects you percieve of the people of the philippines are a result of western cultural influences. however, all in all, i respect your opinion and i envy your strength in your desire to explore and have a positive impact on the places you visit, and the people you meet. you are a gentleman to be sure!