I am in Singapore

Hey..........are you still there.?
ride tram over to Sentosa and see the big Merlion.
Go to the beach there?

"Like Chicago with every speaking bad English, with a Chinese accent."

I find this comment of yours rather amusing. It's a shame you didn't have the opportunity to speak to educated Singaporeans who speak fluent English with real Singaporean accent. I'm not sure which Guide book you referred to before you came here, but I'm sure it did a pretty bad job in providing accurate information about the country and its natives.

I have to say though that us Singaporeans are an enigmatic bunch of people given the different waves of immigrations at different times, and how much British influence we had received over the years.

This is Andy.
I did not have a guidebook so all the observations are mine. I do not go to great efforts to FIND a culture. It is the culture I encountere, no more, no less.