Patpong
"The place you do not tell your mother you went."
Francis and me went last night to Patpong in the older people tourist area or maybe the central part of Bangkok. It is considered the center of sex tourism for Bangkok or something like that, I was laughing because they for sure had all the major fast food restaurant chains, Starbucks Coffee, McDonalds, Subway, in fact Francis said he would rather have a 12 incher then some of the local girls, and then he thought about it and corrected himself saying, I mean I want a Subway Sandwich. It appeared that 50 percent of the business was gay or for homosexuals, or the vast number or travelers outside their closets to find what they want.
The one street we did not go down was “Boy Street,” not that we really have any real understanding of Patpong, or for sure really want to but for sure the advertisements on this street were for boys, but anyone with any street sense would see that 50 percent of the sex business in Thailand I probability gay, or boys with boys of some form.
I thought about taking my camera and on hindsight I should have, because it was more street sellers and stupid stuff than really outrageous place with big bouncers that will break my cameras. Strip clubs and places that are illegal usually have a great ways to intimidate clients to behave. Interestingly the strip joint we entered did not strip, but stood around with a stage full of 10 girls that alternated with 10 other girls dancing in Bikinis. The same as in the USA they try to convince you to buy a drink for 3 times the value.
I did not see any big mean bouncers, but really to find anyone big enough to really make me scared in Thailand would be difficult, they are more the stab in the back type of men and not the get in your face type.
I have been to Bangkok a couple dozen times in my life and have never went to Patpong, I probably complain about the inane nature of the place, but I really was complaining about something that I had never checked out on my own. So now I can say I have been to Patpong, and I know everything but the live shows, or ping pong, or bananas or other things they say, Francis said,
“You need a tape recorder here, and not a camera.”
I do think that would be a hoot and if I could borrow a tape recorder from someone it would be a real laugh as they say things like,
“Ping Pong,”
“Live sex,”
“Sex girl.”
“You like boys,”
“No cover charge.”
Hard to explain Thai English, but they for sure speak some of the worst renditions of English on the planet and will not that they understand at everything and convince many a traveler that they have a clue they understand, but for me I always give them a test and see if they understand non-sense sentences and see what is up, I found that Francis did this also, what happens is when someone tries to engage us in a conversation to sell us things like Ping Pong shows we would say or reply back,
“Why not footballs?”
Francis must have asked that 10 times and not one intelligent reply, but really this question should be inbounds because there is nothing Thai people know more than Futbal or Soccer as the Americans call it and they should have recognized this word, but they consider it off track or not about ping pongs.
Well, me an Francis walked and walked and finally caught a taxi home, I did treat myself to two Ice Cream cones at McDonalds as Francis had a tough time to enter as he was smoking a cigarette, I told him to come in, but in Canadian manners he did not want to enter with his Cigarette, I was trying to say, this place is sold to tourism and why would they care, there are no laws or rules that are respected here, which is why lot of tourist are in Thailand and they can perform their desires without going to Jail, I am positive that San Francisco is represented here very well, as San Francisco is the symbol of Sadom and Gamorah of the USA, or maybe Key West,
SADOM AND GAMORAH FROM Encarta Encyclopedia.
“Sodom and Gomorrah, according to the Old Testament (notably Genesis 18, 19), two ancient cities near the Dead Sea. The Bible almost invariably speaks of them together. With Admah, Zeboiim, and Zoar, they formed the five “cities of the plain,” all but the last-named of which are said to have been destroyed by a rain of brimstone, perhaps accompanied by an earthquake, because of the wickedness of their inhabitants.”
I always try to think of where the Sadom and Gamorahs exist on the planet, and for sure Thailand with Phuket, Koh Samui, Pattaya or the Patpong area of Bangkok, while the Khao San Road is a center for freaks, India is the center of crazy travelers of the world, but if you can come up with a good stereotype you can maybe get a grip on the world.
Pattaya has got to be the worst complete with Golden Calves and another “boys town,” or a that is the information I am told.
BUDDHIST SHRINE
Me and Francis are sitting inside the strip joint where they do not strip, but just stand their wiggling in bikinis, better to go to the topless beach of Koh Pha Ngan, but we are sitting there. A girl keeps smiling at me and I laugh and she comes over and sits, I will not buy her a drink so she leave, me and Francis debate on the cost to buy one of these girls for the night, and he thinks it is 500, I think it is more like 1500 Baht, but then my friend Peter last year from Germany was always a buyer, so he told me more about prices. But we are sitting here, me drinking a Coke for 80 Baht, and him drinking a Chang Beer for 80 Baht (2 Dollars U.S.) and we are smiling and flirting with the girls, I said the one keeps smiling at me, and Francis says,
“That’s what they get paid for.”
I go oops, that is correct, as I forgot for second they were for sale in a way, it is not just for sale you have to chat them up, be nice, and then pay large, but it is definitely a place were ugly guys can score easy.
But Francis in his extreme way of accessing a situation is so acutely adept at accurately understanding a situation that seems to elude the normal tourist observes,
“So Thailand, look at the Buddhist Shrine.”
There is this elevated stage with 10 gild wiggling in Bikinis.
Stools surround the stage for what in the USA is the dollar tuckers.
We are at the back booths where girl come to try to convince us of things.
Behind us is a large mirrored wall where when the girls are not trying to get our attention they are looking at themselves. This is all quite normal for the world of strip joints, except the “King” or Elvis Presley is in this bar, as well as Jimmy Hendricks.
But back to the point. I am sitting there smiling at the girl with the perfect face and belly of a baby past tense, pudgy, but loveable in a way, and just does not have a clue that I think she is a prostitute, she actually thinks I am thinking she is a nice girl or wantable, but she is standing on a table in a bikini dancing.
“So So Thailand, look at the Buddhist Shrine.”
On one of the concrete columns is one of these small incense infested shrines that Buddhist people nod their heads to on a regular occasion just to the right of the dancers and above the head of the old man that is going to have to pay very large to get that young girl with the Grade School Clothing to come with him, because he is in the high pay epoch of life when all he is going to attract is what Benjamin’s can buy and not what doors a smile can open, so above his had is the Buddhist shrine tucked in so that all the girls can walk up as they enter or leave the place, light a few incense, tuck them between their hand, nod their heads at the shrine, and do other type of behavior of redemption like the Catholics would cross themselves, or the Muslims would wave their hands, I guess the Protestants wave their hands to the left and the right with their heads back… but we do not usually get girls to do this inside of Strip Joints, so this is the abstract, anal constrictions that happen in Thailand where the best looking girl on Patpong area according to Francis was a boy, and they nod there head to Buddha inside the strip joint, it is not hard to like a place when there is never a dull moment of you cannot avoid seeing crazy world on a minute by minute basis. Both me an Francis are totally immune to this type of freaky or bizarre behavior on the part of the Thailand people and the Tourist that pay the large money to masturbate their brains, we both are more concerned with other speculative adventures.
Francis spent two hours today working out a train route across China Russia and Eastern Europe that he wishes me to take before the new countries that have just entered the European Union adjust their greed prices and adapt to western Europe, I am thinking he is a little obsessive and tell him I could schedule a trip for 500 mile and would not go the way I plan, so really a plan just does not work for me as I never follow the plan even when the plan is for the next day, and do not plan on starting to follow a plan.
I am trying to get him to type this into the computer and not on paper as I could put this in my list of routes to take page, not that anyone has ever submitted a route to take, but one day I will convince the world to submit to the page. He is obviously a traveler as he keeps wanting to discuss possible routes, like the silk road, or the Christopher Columbus looking for a new route to the east, a good traveler is always dwelling on the next route or rites of passage to the next place to be a voyeur or world behaviors, and hopefully where people are not totally for sale.
Routes page:
http://www.hobotraveler.com/routes.php
Well we will dwell, muse, and obsess on our next trip and where it will lead…?
But been there done that, and can say, I have been to Patpong now, and that is past.
