Hello,
I do not understand men. I do
not understand women.
I suppose that will always be the plight of humans. We go out into the world and
explore. See wonderful and great places and learn many novel ideas. Than we
return to our homelands, and write stories of fantasy and dreams. Reality is
more interesting than fantasy, but people live their lives in fantasy.
Prostitution in Thailand is
about a fantasy of men. The meet, have sex, and fall in love.
There is this guy Peter from
Germany here in Pak Bara, Thailand. He is in love with a Thailand Prostitute.
She treats him badly and he is obsessed with talking about her. It is completely
crazy and difficult to listen and not be judgmental. I have heard some strange
stories as I travel the world, but this one is too stupid.
I will not tell the story. You would think I made it up, and crazy is
complicated.
Crazy is a level of
confusion. When a person steps completely outside of the norms of society or
they create a world in their minds that has nothing to do with reality. I would
say, they are crazy.
Pete is crazy.
Crazy foreigners in Thailand
are not unique. I meet one or two certifiably crazy people a week. Now who knows
maybe I am crazy, and being judgmental of a crazy world. I am alone most of the
time here, and I have a world that exist in my head. I am not able to
communicate with other people. I have started to count the number of words that
I can say I am comfortable and positive on how to say. At this moment after
about 100 days in Thailand I have 24 words that I would say I know.
I am living in a world of my
mind, and talking with people of Thailand with 24 word
That is not enough words to
have and intimate and fulfilling moment. My relationship are simple and not
energy giving, but rather take my energy. So when I discuss this topic about
crazy people. I am fully aware that I am constantly losing 2 things. My energy
to support my own levels of sanity. Plus I may have already become crazy. I am
99.9 percent sure I am not crazy. But without anyone around to compare my
actions with...
How can I be sure?
OH YES. Peter
I have Peter to compare my
actions with, and see if I am going crazy.
THE BIG FIGHT FOR MENTAL
STABILITY
I believe that we become what we hang around with.
If I want to learn how to become rich. I must hang around with rich people.
If I want to be the best internet travel webpage on the internet. I must look
and hang around on the best travel WebPages.
If I want to be mentally healthy, I must hang around with mentally healthy
people.
If I want to be crazy, I must hang around with crazy people.
In most countries there is a
lot of social pressure.
In some cases they throw them in Jail.
The ultimate judgement that a person is not normal.
Sometimes they kill them. ( I am thinking of Sadaam in Iraq.)
Travelers are outside of
social pressure, and can do most anything they wish.
This creates people like Peter and me.
Social values breaks down,
and we stop living by the rules and social conduct of our home country. We start
to become people of the world and not a citizen of our own country. I am
still a citizen of my country and champion the idea of their behavior and their
laws, and religion.
But what happens when a
person hates their country, family, social rules, and religion?
There is a BATTLE. A battle
between the way they was and the way they will become.
I am NOT the person that left
Indiana. I am a different person.
I make a choice to try to be
a better person each day.
I would say Peter lives in a world of becoming more selfish each day.
Travelers are EXTREMELY
SELFISH. They do everything for themselves. Nothing for anyone else.
Pete became very angry at me
yesterday. I said,
"Pete, pretend I am your older brother for a moment,
I want to give you some advice on life."
He sort of likes that idea. I think he wants loved, but not loving opinions.
"Pete.. Life is simple. The
goal is be happy. I have had a lot of very bad times in my life. But the secret
of being happy is to do more things in a day that make you happy than things
that make you sad."
I realize I am talking in
English and losing Pete already. He does not like any authority or comment that
tells him how to live his life. He starts to get angry. I am not concerned and
really do not care. He is becoming a dangerous person and someone needs to tell
him. I try to get simpler.
"People are the problem.
They can make you happy, or sad.
Animals and Nature are neutral and normally help."
I know I am gong to lose him
on the next comment, but here goes.
"The bible says to recognize
people by their fruit.
A good person give good fruit."
Aagh he goes into rage.
Starts talking about he is a good person and that he is making Ying crazy, and
this is good, and she will die, because she killed his lady,and... etc. This
noise is impossible to express. But trust me it sounds like "Daffy" in the movie
"The Beach."
I say,
"Peter you are crazy."
He says,
"I know."
But he want to be crazy. He considers that good. To say everything is bad is
fashionable. I go back to the fruit.
"I am talking about the
future choices,
Remember I said, I was going to be your big brother."
I am positive if I was his big brother. I would be trying hard to get him into
counseling or committed before he goes into McDonalds in Germany and kill 20
people.
Anger permeates his soul.
"Fruit. Just look at peoples
fruit,
giving people give good fruit.
Bad people take fruit.
You are weaker than before."
I am getting very weak, and
know that my friendship and acquaintance has reached the end. I do not want
Peter for a friend. He has bad fruit, and I am positive of this. I say,
"Remember what Andrew did last night,
he bought 4 pack of peanuts for the group of Farang."
There was 2 more Germans here
last night.
Andrew of "Andrew Tours" went and purchased 4 packs of peanuts and put them on
the table to be nice.
Peter says,
"Yes..That was good fruit."
I got Peter back into the
land of Sanity for second.
He than starts obsessing on his anger
I say,
"Peter, I do not care what you do, or have done.
I am just giving a simple way to live and be happy.
Choose good people.
Find them by looking at their fruit.
Are they trying to make the world better, or trying to make it worse.
Do you feel stronger after you leave them, or weak.
Are they emotional vampires?"
I am talking myself into a
hole. I know that I should heed my own advice and not talk with Pete. If I
continue to talk with him I will start to become like him.... Aaagh. make me
puke.
One last attempt, and I go do
something normal
"Peter find good people. Hang around with them."
He goes into another
childlike tirade. I am not sure what I said exactly. But Thailand is full of
this, and they all have a way of making you feel guilty. I am trying to review
my statement in my head... I am thinking to myself,
"Find good people. Hang
around with them."
I am lost. He is projecting
or adding something. I am amiss. This is crazy.
I say,
"I got to go to the internet.
Have a good day."
I leave. I will listen to my
own advice.
Andy the Hobo